Could use some advice..

[Rizzle]

First of all, let me just say that I have never gotten in so much trouble by not saying anything. Anyways..

Today after school, my team (or like 1/4 of it) had a preseason running/workout practice like we do almost everyday. However, today we only had 1 of our 2 captains. The one we were missing had to do some important things for college. Unfortunately, he is the one who tends to make everyone work hard and stay in line. Also unfortunately, a good number of the kids who showed up today are not the most involved/serious players, as in they don't care and goof off very much. I don't even know why they came even, because they usually do not.

So, we began stretching, and from right there I could tell it was not going to be a good practice. They were all messing around, barely getting anything done. The ones who were trying to actually stretch were too few and far between, and our 1 captain there could not keep eveyone in line because, well, they just don't care enough to listen.

Seeing that the workout was looking hopeless and pointless, I kept to myself and simply left. My one friend and I decided to run a couple miles on the track outside for conditioning, because it would be more beneficial than whatever the "team" was trying to do today without the other captain.

When we finished running and returned, the captain who was there absolutely flipped on me. He said I ditched the team and all that, and I could see where he got that idea from, but that was not my intention. I simply saw that most of the kids were goofing off, and not much was going to be accomplished, so I ran outside because I knew I had work to do to get back in shape. He refused to listen though, and even considered kicking me off the team I think.

I would not have left had the other captain been there, because he does a good job of making sure we all work and get things done. Unfortunately, that did not happen today. Hopefully he will hear me out when I have to tell the story to him.

So, I ask you who bothered to read this rant, was I at fault? There was nothing wrong with what I did, was there? I felt that I was not getting anything done when they were just screwing around, so I left to go work on my own, or with a friend actually. Is this wrong? Do I deserve to not be part of the "team"?( I say "team" because they looked nothing like a team to me today, and we were missing most of the dedicated kids for an odd reason).

Also, what can I do to fix this situation w/ the captain(s), and maybe even my coach?

Thanks in advance, just had to get that off my back.

[Stringer4Lax]

IMO you are not at fault and that the captain is. He should have brought the ones who were goofing off aside and made them do 150 push-ups (what my coach does). Just tell him the truth about why you left and such AND tell him that he really needs to tell the goof-offs to do push-ups or just leave the team.

[warrior4lax]

you said most of the kids didnt show up, and to me, i think thats even worse then what you did (not to say what you did is wrong). and instead of messing around, you actually did work. and if your captain decides to kick you off, then he should kick off everyone who didnt show up. and he shouldnt be mad at you for actually showing up and working instead of not showing up, or showing up and messing around. but thats just what i think. good luck with that though

[hvlacrosse311]

Maybe you should bring up the fact that a captain should be able to demand respect from his team, and they obviously dont respect him and he didnt make a big enough effort to keep them in line. You saw that nothing was getting accomplished so you decided to do what you needed to improve on, i see nothing wrong with it. It wasnt out of disrespect, it was just that you decided to get something accomplished while everyone else goofed off, maybe you should be captain.

[JohnsHopkins16]

I wouldnt of left, but then agian it was probally worse that described. Go to coachy, yet he will be mad at team and that means more running.

[akalata]

tell the coach and other caption that your other teammates were being slackers and werent doing anything and that you knew nothing was gonna get done so you ran. guarantee that they will chill.

[Rizzle]

Maybe you should bring up the fact that a captain should be able to demand respect from his team, and they obviously dont respect him and he didnt make a big enough effort to keep them in line. You saw that nothing was getting accomplished so you decided to do what you needed to improve on, i see nothing wrong with it. It wasnt out of disrespect, it was just that you decided to get something accomplished while everyone else goofed off, maybe you should be captain.

I'm a freshman though, so the chances of them considering me for that or even listening to me sometimes are only gonna happen on a cold day in hell.

[Stringer4Lax]

See I'm on a first year team, were there are only 3 people who have ever played before (including me), all of whom being freshmen so we get a TON of respect. I would honestly tell your captain that what they are doing is disrespectful to HIM. He will realize that and be more commanding. All you have to do is persuade him that he is being disrespected.

[MainLax28]

You shouldn't have left. You are on a team, you do what your team does no matter how retarded it is.

You listen to your elders and superiors. Even if they have no valuable information to offer you, if they are in a higher position than you, you do what they say and do it good.

If you do both of those things, and do it without complaint, not only will the elders respect you more, but it will encourage your peers to do the same as you.

If you leave, and disrespect what your captain wanted to do, you are wrong. You give the other kids an excuse to not listen, which futhers the problem. If I were him, I would be mad at you more so than the others, because you deserted your team. Even though they were screwing around, they still stayed and got the benefit of team building.

On the other hand, I am also in your boat. My coach is a complete retard. He is a soccer coach, and knows nothing about lacrosse. We did no fast break offense or defense last year, and game theory was almost non-existent. Christ he told me I played defense too rough, and needed to calm down. I even think he spoke against me for conference bids because I did not respect a rival team as much as he would like.

However I have to do what the guy says long enough till he gets fired no matter how much I disagree with him. We were a 100% new team last year with the exception of me and two other kids, so it is hard for anyone else to back me up anyway.

If I were you, I'd take my advice as long as you can. Eventually you will get the respect of your peers, and when they see you imporving, it will drive them to follow in your path. I guess its like playing Jesus.

[mnlax9]

my advice to you is to speak with the other captain who was not there and explain to him the details. If they dont undertsand then you just dont leave again. It was a bad idea to leave, even thought ya all werent getting much done it is a team sport and usually you wanna stick with those guys cause during the season they are like your second family

[dillz18]

I think it's not your fault, but you should have told the remaining captain that you were leaving, and what you were leaving for. If you told him that, he has no reason to be mad at you. If you didn't tell him or anything he has reason to be mad at you, but he shouldn't be as mad as it sounds he is. If I were the captain I wouldn't be mad at all.

[TigerMiddie08]

I agree with MainLax somewhat. You LEFT the team man. He has every right to think that you were blowing it off even more than the others. He may think that, but your best bet is to just talk to him, and listen to his opinion first.

[gerber]

Rizzle, MailLax28 nails it.

What you did might have been forgiveable had you asked your Captain if you could work out on your own. Then he would have had the chance to explain to you why you couldn't. Or you could have asked him if there was anything you could do to help get everyone get back on track. Or, if you weren't comfortable speaking out, you could have set an example for the others by being especially attentive and working even harder.

That said, you are on the right track by wanting to make it right with that Captain (and it needs to be with that Captain, else it will look like you're trying to go over his head which will be just another way of disprespecting him). I hope he can see the value of someone screwing up and then stepping forward to recognize their mistake, which is what you must do. This is neither the time nor place for ego to take over.

You could start by sincerely apologizing. Point out that you don't have a lot of experience with this sort of thing and that you have learned an important lesson: that the team comes first.

Good luck. I hope it turns out well for you. This is the sort of experience that could make you an important part of the team in the future and be a valuable life lesson.

[Rizzle]

Thanks everyone, especially MainLax and gerber. You're both right.

I'm going to apologize to my captain and the team tomorrow, and tell the coach I owe him some stair-running.

[WinnytheSully]

Yah, you were wrong. What you might have better to consider would be to approach the captain and say "Can me and ...... go run on the track instead of whatever you had planned for today." Think of this through your captains point of view. He already has to deal with your less than attentive teammates, but then has people abandoning him too.