Talking to the Coach

[Lettuce]

Lacrosse is a huge commitment. We have practices two hours a day every week day, and four hours a day on Saturday. Starting next week we have a game at least once every three days, most of which are away games an hour and a half away. The practices are also timed extremely inconveniently, starting an hour after school is over, leaving just enough time to go home and immediately turn around to go to practice.

I don't really mind any of this, it's what comes along with playing a varsity sport. What I don't like, however, is that it seems that every weekend night that we don't have a game with a return time past 11, we have a mandatory team dinner, or we paint the locker room, or do something else to build "team spirit".

I love playing lacrosse, but I don't want to spend all of my Friday nights at the Olive Garden with the lacrosse team. As coaches, would you think I was out of line to ask my coach to stop scheduling unnecessary team-building exercises, or at least make them optional? I don't want to quit, but I can't keep up with this.

[Texlax33]

the only way you'd be able to make a case against all this team unity which as a coach myself sounds a bit excessive. is that your team is going to have to come together as whole and talk with the coach, call a team meeting and discuss it. make sure you have the team on your side. if you just come to a coach as individual with your concerns your just asking for an ear full.

[azlax19]

fake sick. or just say you cant because you have personal conflicts

[Texlax33]

fake sick. or just say you cant because you have personal conflicts

Whatever you do be honest about it. ^^^ thats not good advice. just makes you look like a bad team mate.

[BWickLAX10]

talk to your teamates about it. see what they think. they might feel the same way. I know that i wouldn't want to do that on my weedend nights. then have your team as a whole talk to the coach.

[The Doors]

Preferably, it would be best if the team captains went up and talked to him. They should generally speak for the team. If lacrosse is important to you that's great, and its nice to see you put all this time into the game. But you should have a personal life outside of the sport as well.

[Matt Saracen]

Textbook situation to discuss with the team captains. If captains have not been appointed, find a senior or an experienced player.

[Lettuce]

I talked to the captains today. We're going to go out at least before every away game, and whenever else they think it's necessary. I told them I did things outside of lacrosse and wanted to make sure I had time for that, and they told me the dinners were necessary for carb loading. We're going to a buffet pizza place that literally spreads butter on the top of their pizza before serving it.

Most of the players are silently against it, but there's a loud minority in favor of it. I'm thinking about quitting.

edit: I'm a.. pivotal player. I'm one of two returning varsity attackmen, and the other two were the bottom of the barrel on JV last year, and can't pass or catch consistently. Should I say, "if you don't make them optional, I'm going to quit"? I don't want to impose an ultimatum on them, but I don't think it's fair, as a committed player, to quit without an explanation or anything like that.

[TigerLax29]

Aside from talking to your coach, a few points:

1. Carb loading on buffet pizza is about the equivalent of carb loading on beer. Just because there's carbs in there doesn't make it a good idea.

2. Having players that are "silently" against something is a bad thing. In my opinion, having guys quietly brooding just causes resentment. They need to speak up or maybe there really not that against it.

3. Being a "pivotal player" means crap. A good coach won't treat you any different than he does any other player. You're on a team. Personally, on game stuff I'll bench a star player just as quick as a 3rd line guy for the same infraction. Off the field, I'll come down harder on those guys as I expect better from them. I get to see this equation from both sides as a player and a coach and I can tell you, telling your coach what to do is not going to go well. It doesn't work that way. You can ask him, or discuss it, but you can't tell him to choose one or the other.

4. Ultimatums are crap. Most likely the discussion will start and end with that ultimatum because your coach isn't going to be interested in doing the ultimatum thing. I don't know

5. Quitting is crap. It's cliche but...you made a commitment to the team and you need to honor that. It's a serious thing. I can understand guys not playing the next year but quitting in the middle of the season is wrong. Furthermore as a returning player I assume you knew what the commitment was going to be like before you committed to this season. Even if you didn't or it changed, you're still bound to your commitment.

As far as talking to your coach:

You need to get those other players against it to speak up. If you can't, they probably aren't that against it.

2 hour practices and one a 4 hour on saturday is not at all unreasonable. An hour after school is not unreasonable either. It's pretty typical. In highschool we had a study hall for an hour right after class then about 4+ hours of practice. Then on saturdays before we started playing games we had practice most of the day. In that regard it's just a matter of if you are willing to put in the work to be a good team.

I don't see how you guys have games every 3 days. I've never heard of that before.

Before you talk to your coach you need to actually sit down and write out all the required events and see how much there actually is. Also figure out which ones you think it's fair to get rid of and give legitimate reasons why they should be tossed.

Once you have a real idea of what you think should happen get everyone else that feels the same way and go see the captains then the coach. Don't be whiny and say "we don't want to do all this stuff". Make your case and discuss it.

[Texlax33]

I guess thats really all up to you. if furthering your lacrosse is something you want in the future, such as playing in college or what not then stay with it. but threating them with you quiting is pretty lame honestly i'd just say fine see ya later. As a coach i hate excuses but this team is way over excessive. Parents always make good excuses so say your parents won't let you go. i guess it all comes down to how important lacrosse is to you.

[Texlax33]

tigerlax you a private school kid??

[Beafly]

I'll agree with a few of the above posters, the time commitment you've described doesn't sound excessive. Practices sound about right or maybe a little short even. Games are games and travel to/from is a necessity. Team building is important, even if you don't fully understand why yet.

There are 3 things that are more important than your team during lacrosse season. Your Faith, Your Family and your Studies. That's pretty much it. If you're missing one of those 3 things at 11pm on a Friday or Saturday night, then you might have a legitimate concern worth addressing with your captains and coaches (in that order).

Ask yourself, do you really have something so important to do that you would miss a team event in mid season? If you're not going to a mass, family reunion or studying for a chemistry exam then man-up and commit to the team.

Whatever you do, don't ever pull that ultimatum crap on a coach. I don't care who you are, how good your stick skills are, how fast you are, I would tell you to turn in your helmet right then and there.

[Texlax33]

i'm sorry but yes all this is excessive unless your a private school border and have no where else to go but back to your dorm. you have to have a life outside of lacrosse.

[picknroll]

Lettuce, if I was your coach it would be time to play that old Ray Charles record - "Hit the Road, Jack".

Get some perspective. How long is your lacrosse season? 3 months or so? How many years can you play high school lacrosse? 4 max, right? If you love lacrosse and you're committed, suck it up, show up, and go play. Right now is the only time that you'll get that opportunity. If it's all a big annoyance to you (which it kind of sounds like) it's time to listen to Ray.

[Lettuce]

I didn't say I was a pivotal player because I thought I deserved special treatment. What I meant was, if I quit, it will have a large impact on the team; I don't think it would really be fair to quit without giving an explanation. I think that, if I decide to do anything, I'll just say "I can't make this large of a commitment." I was really trying to word that in a way that wouldn't make it look like I thought I shouldn't have to participate because I'm "a pivotal player". I was more looking at it from my team's perspective, I guess.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the amount of time we practice either. I don't, however, want to spend my time doing things that I think are unnecessary. I realize this is subjective - clearly you and my coaches think it's fine - but it's over the top for me.

Also, we have 15 games in the month of April. In the entire month, there are two times we have four days between games.

This is a public school. We're a mediocre team in a crappy division. There are no kids that have a future/would want a future on anything more than a club team.

When it comes down to it, I play lacrosse for fun and I'm not having fun. Would it be really bad if I asked the coach to move me down to JV?

Oh and I thought the pizza thing was a joke at first, but they were serious.

[Coach MacLax]

I think the time commitment is way excessive. My practices are 90-120 minutes MAX. Last year we didn't even have Saturday practices. This year we will, but they won't be longer than a 1 hour skull session and 2 hours on the field. I think literally ALL current sports philosophy says two hours max for practices. If a coach knows what he is doing then that's enough. I tell my players at the beginning of the season that during the season they have three priorities: Family, School, Lacrosse. In that order. We start practice 1 hour after school ends, but that is so players have a chance to get extra help from teachers or go to study groups. Our school has a very strict academic eligability rule.

Having said that, don't play games or try power plays with your coach and teammates. Just talk to your folks and your friends, have an open and honest discussion with your coach and then decide what you need to do to make youself happy. But think of the future (near and distant). You won't be happy if you make a decision that you later regret. That's my $.02

[Texlax33]

I think the time commitment is way excessive. My practices are 90-120 minutes MAX. Last year we didn't even have Saturday practices. This year we will, but they won't be longer than a 1 hour skull session and 2 hours on the field. I think literally ALL current sports philosophy says two hours max for practices. If a coach knows what he is doing then that's enough. I tell my players at the beginning of the season that during the season they have three priorities: Family, School, Lacrosse. In that order. We start practice 1 hour after school ends, but that is so players have a chance to get extra help from teachers or go to study groups. Our school has a very strict academic eligability rule.

Having said that, don't play games or try power plays with your coach and teammates. Just talk to your folks and your friends, have an open and honest discussion with your coach and then decide what you need to do to make youself happy. But think of the future (near and distant). You won't be happy if you make a decision that you later regret. That's my $.02

Fantastic Advice

[TigerLax29]

tigerlax you a private school kid??

I played at a private middle school and a public high school. Now I play at a public university and coach at a private school.

By the way if this level of commitment is causing you trouble now, I assume you're not looking to play in college. As such, this is your last chance to play. I think you would regret quitting.

[WI_LAX_COACH]

I think the time commitment is way excessive. My practices are 90-120 minutes MAX. Last year we didn't even have Saturday practices. This year we will, but they won't be longer than a 1 hour skull session and 2 hours on the field. I think literally ALL current sports philosophy says two hours max for practices. If a coach knows what he is doing then that's enough. I tell my players at the beginning of the season that during the season they have three priorities: Family, School, Lacrosse. In that order. We start practice 1 hour after school ends, but that is so players have a chance to get extra help from teachers or go to study groups. Our school has a very strict academic eligability rule.

Having said that, don't play games or try power plays with your coach and teammates. Just talk to your folks and your friends, have an open and honest discussion with your coach and then decide what you need to do to make youself happy. But think of the future (near and distant). You won't be happy if you make a decision that you later regret. That's my $.02
Hard to argue with this advice.