Coach Hates Me!

[laxbabe42]

Yes, my coach really does hate me. She was our JV coach last year, and our varsity coach last year couldn't coach b/c of pregnancy leave, so the JV coach is moving up :ahhno: . I have NEVER had this woman as a coach in my life, although I guess she's heard of me. Well, lets just say ... I didn't have the best of attitudes last season. Our team sucked beginning of last year, and lets just put it that i'm not one to hold my emotions inside. Yes, i was negative, but it was never to hurt anyone intentionally, it was ALL stress and aggrivation. Middle of the season i got my act together and STOPPED all of my yelling/criticsing/etc. My coach helped me realise that what i was doing wasn't helping anyone, and i know i was wrong. So i quit it, i really did. Well the girls on my team sure do know how to hold a grudge, and i've apoligized and everything. I suppose the JV coach, now Head V. Coach has heard what a btch i SOUNDED like last year from the other girls. And the other thing was that i have major problems w/ injuries and during try outs i wasn't able to run the mile because of a back injury and at some practices i couldn't run the long distange. And i think that the coach took that as an excuse, which it wasn't.

Now, i'm scared for try outs this year. I really don't want her to demote me to the JV team because of my unexcusable actions last year. I made mistakes, and i'm the first one to admit it, but it's over now and i've changed. I just don't want her cutting me from V. because of how i acted last year or my injuries and not being able to do some activities. How do i make it so that theres no possible way she could demote me besides lack of ablity?? Do u really think she'd actually do that because of last year?


And the coach really does hate me. She accuses me of STEALING and TEARING down her stupid little posters in her classroom whom I don't even have!!! She also thinks I still other things from her classroom that i don't even go into!! GIVE ME A BREAK! :ahhno: She also completely BLEW UP on my dad for agreeing with the TEAM to stop and take a food break on the way home from an away game. She was mad b/c she had to drive seperately adn she wanted to get home quickly, and somethinga bout her having to lock up and had to wait for us to get there. but i dont see why she couldn't just give my dad the keys and he would have locked up for her?! whatever. she's completely anal. It was a fricking 3 hour bus ride and some of us hadn't eaten since 11am that day, and it was 9 pm at the mo' and we had just gotten over a hard game, us 16 year olds need our energy! I also believe she has a grudge against me because last year when our head v. coach left, my dad was chosen for v. coach over her. so she hates my dad, and being i'm his child, she also hates me. sounds silly, but she just is that ridiculous.


*FEEDBACK WELCOMED*

[sumSum]

Hmm...tough case to call without knowing both sides of the story.

Your in a bad position it seems but hopefully the coach is mature enough to keep you on the team if your skills truly warrant that. It might be helpful to ask to meet with her one day before tryouts and explain everything you feel in a calm, mature conversation without accusing her of anything and just simply stating your worries and that you understand that you had to work on your actions last year but that you feel you have and hope that it shows that your trying to change how you express yourself towards the team. I would leave out all the stuff about stealing and your dad because as the coach all this really comes down to is the team and lacrosse.

Good luck.

[wayzatalax2008]

that sucks my coaches always love me :drool:

[SawyerLaxGirl44]

Just prove her wrong.Show her that you aren't rude and cheer on your teammates during try-outs.GOOD LUCK!

[lilaxgurl23]

My coach is like that to one of my teammates. He absolutely hates her, ok well maybe dislikes but he will always bench her for no reason and is extremely harsh to her. The only thing you can really do is prove her wrong. You can't give her any excuses to cut you. So work hard, train before the season, hustle and do what ever it takes.

[laxbabe42]

Yeah, but she's that ridiculous, she really would cut me because of something she HEARD. Or because she thinks like im starting a conspiracy against her?! lol. she's whacked. True, i dont like her, but im not doing anything to her.

work hard..yeah, my game plan from the beginning, but the way she is, she'd take last year, she really would hold everything against me. she's a witch and she doesn't know jack about lacrosse. She played a year or two at frostburg and thinks shes god's gift to the world. our old v. coach started for UMD and bagged on her how she was a worthless coach. oooh that didn't go down very well with some of us girls.

[the wister]

Get your teamates on your side so that if she does seem to cut you just because she doesn't like you, your friends will ask her why you're JV and that you're a needed addition to the team. That way she'll know that your teammates like you and everything from the past stayed in the past. About what Sum said, talking to her personally is a good idea, but if she is exactly how you describe her, then she seems very immature and I don't think that this approach would be so smart. And to be honest, if you can't practice, I'd say don't go at all. People who see you sitting on the side would think you're not trying and even if you did try and struggled, no one would really care that much, so you can't really pease anyone without hurting yourself more. I know not everyone is like this and sometimes it's better to sit and support than not show up, but at my school, male only, if you sit, your a sissy, if you don't show up, they don't notice. Hope something in that long rant helps you out.

[sumSum]

And to be honest, if you can't practice, I'd say don't go at all. People who see you sitting on the side would think you're not trying and even if you did try and struggled, no one would really care that much, so you can't really pease anyone without hurting yourself more. I know not everyone is like this and sometimes it's better to sit and support than not show up, but at my school, male only, if you sit, your a sissy, if you don't show up, they don't notice.

I, personally, do not recommend this. If you have to sit while everyone else is doing something than volunteer to do more low-impact conditioning (push-ups, cruches, wall-sits, etc), wall ball, or practice your shooting.

[CTLaxer]

Listen to sumsum, she is wise beyond her years. I HATE it when my players don't show up to practice, regardless of if they can participate or not. If you're injured...come to practice and watch. If you're sick...come to practice and watch. If you're about to die...come to practice and watch before you kick the bucket.

Now, being a coach, I feel the need to play devil's advocate here because I've had some absurd things said and done about me/to me. Players claim coaches play favorites, that they like a player/dislike a player, don't know what they're doing, etc etc. Keep in mind as a player, you do not see the coaches whole plan/idea. Also keep in mind that the coach see you as a player in a different light than you see yourself. They don't see you being the class clown or the book worm with straight A's; they see you as the girl that comes to practice for a few hours a day and that's all they have to base their judgement on.

I know I personally come down hard on the players I like more so than just regular players. I also come down a bitter harder on players that are more experienced and better players/athletes because I expect more from them. Part of a coaches job is to help you develop as a player and as a person (as cheesy as it sounds) Our job is to push you to the limits and to try and get you to play to your full potential. Some times this comes across as us being jerks.

Now, if you seriously have an issue....why not bring it up with the coach? A simple "hey coach, I notice that you come down on me a bit more than others and I was wondering if there was something I was doing or not doing to make this happen? I want to work hard and be a part of the team, so how can I better do that?" It sounds stupid, but a simple statement like that can make a difference. What I would do personally is first bring it to the attention of your captains. If that doesn't help, bring it directly to the attention of the coach. And if that doesn't help, go to the administration (I highly recomend you do not do this unless there is a SERIOUS SERIOUS issue as serious consequences for all parties involved can come from it)

Hope that helps. Good luck with your situation. Sometimes you just have to deal with coaches/players that you don't like or don't get along with. Just make the best of your season and focus on having a good time on the lacrosse field kicking some butt!

[laxbabe42]

No, I go to every practice when i'm injured and i do things that i'm able to do. I have problems with my back and it's just an issue iwht long distance. I even got my orthapedic surgeon to write a letter explaining. And when the team ran long distances, i did stairs or sit ups/crunches, etc. But the thing is, this happened last year, and she shouldn't even be concerned being as she was only the JV coach and she had no right to be suspicious of me when my head v. coach was perfectly fine and understood.

Now, if you seriously have an issue....why not bring it up with the coach? A simple "hey coach, I notice that you come down on me a bit more than others and I was wondering if there was something I was doing or not doing to make this happen? I want to work hard and be a part of the team, so how can I better do that?" It sounds stupid, but a simple statement like that can make a difference. What I would do personally is first bring it to the attention of your captains. If that doesn't help, bring it directly to the attention of the coach. And if that doesn't help, go to the administration (I highly recomend you do not do this unless there is a SERIOUS SERIOUS issue as serious consequences for all parties involved can come from it)

I've done ALL of that. A) she laughed at me and told me to stop being such a dramatic little girl and not to be so pathetic. B) EVERYBODY hates her, captains can't do anything 'bout a coach who is absolutely horrid and can't teach or play lacrosse. C) The stupid witch coach was the one who got my previous v. coach FIRED for something that she shouldn't have gotten fired over. She ran to the amid. so many times over the littlest things about MY dad (he took over as coach when the real v. coach had to resign), so the admin. really wouldn't even take a second look at me. You might think i'm over exaggerating, but my highschool is crap when it comes to managing sports and such. She once ran to the amidinstration because my dad let us stop for dinner on a 3 hour bus ride home, and that is allowed, it's up to the coach, and the coach was my dad.

Shes a bitter woman. I'm not exaggerating this one bit. She thinks my friend and I plot against her to get her fired?! lol whhhat?! Even IF we did that, they wouldn't tkae us seriously. So many people aren't coming back this season because of her!! My best friend is going to a private school because she is coaching. That's how bad the situation is. And ridiculous parents don't help the situation how they complain thinking they know the game, when in reality they don`t know jack. Maybe ya'll would understand if you realised and understood the dynamics of the crap highschool i go to. There really is no answer. It's a big shame.

..Thanks for the advice though! it has helped, and helped me think of new ways aswell. Thanks again.

[AXL]

forget what theyre all saying, shes obviously done more wrong to you then you have to her and she needs to grow up and quit beeing anal like you said. she already thinks you are and acts like you are a pain in the neck, so be a pain in the neck. do little stuff.

I was thinking along the lines of spilling stuff on her desk or spomething, idk maybe leaving the water bottles all over the place after practice, you know that kind of thing.

[sumSum]

forget what theyre all saying, shes obviously done more wrong to you then you have to her and she needs to grow up and quit beeing anal like you said. she already thinks you are and acts like you are a pain in the neck, so be a pain in the neck. do little stuff.

I was thinking along the lines of spilling stuff on her desk or spomething, idk maybe leaving the water bottles all over the place after practice, you know that kind of thing.

I would highly not recommend this.

[AXL]

why be a goody-two-shoes if you wont get treated like one?

[sumSum]

Because its the mature thing to do. Obviously your lacking a little in that department if thats how you would react in a situation like this.

Anyway, it will only enforce what she thinks about you and make it worse if you were to act up out of spite. It also would give you no chance to get on her good side.

[laxbabe42]

It also would give you no chance to get on her good side.

Good Side? :nofear: Huh?! This woman has no good side, anyways theres no way in hell i'm going to go out of my way to get on her good side. she's not even worth that. i won't waste energy on somoene like her. shes not why i go out there everday.

Why is it that most believe that i should "suck up" to her? Yeah, when hell freezes over. I should be able to get on the team w/o sucking up to her, and if its going to be like THAT, it's not something i'd try to persue anyways. To me, sucking up to a coach is worse than being a *****. atleast when you're a *****, you're being honest. Yet when you suck up your phony and fake, and completely two-faced. Hmmm..sounds like the rest of the girls on my team. Now i know why they got on the team w/ no skills.

[Garor]

OK. It's time to examine the situation. If lacrosse is something you really want to do, you are going to have to deal with her. Guess what, it happens all the time later in life. Is your boss dumber than you? Too bad deal with it, he or she is in charge. Learning how to deal with these kind of people only improves your own character. Be the mature one and suck it up. The coach is in charge, and has what you want. Sometimes you have to bend over backwards for people with authority, it's how the system works. You might not like her, and she may feel the same way about you, but you need to put it behind you and start fresh. Come to practice with a positive attitude. Don't talk about the coach behind her back, information gets around. You don't have to suck up to her, but you do need to recognize that no matter what, she is in control.

Hope that didn't sound too mean. Good luck and keep the positive attitude.

[sumSum]

Why is it that most believe that i should "suck up" to her?

I do not mean to imply you should "suck up" to this coach. I only mean that you should not do anything to warrant the way that she treats you and so you should just be polite. You dont need to act like she's your most favoritist person ever but you can be civil and do things your asked to and when, etc.

Just be neutral. Lessons you learn here will pay off later in life when things like a stupid boss (as mentioned) or mean cop, or whatever, comes across your path. Not to sound too philosophical or anything...

[laxbabe42]

Okay, you guys seem to get the wrong impression. I am sucking it up, I'm not talking behind her back,etc. etc. the whole reason i posted was too see people's opinion on what i should do to make sure she couldn't cut me because of her hatred for me, or to see if there was something that i hadn't already thought of, and see if anything else came up besides the blatently obvious!

It seems as if ya'll think that just because of her, i won't play. I've said it once, and i'll say it again, she's not the reason i step on the field. :)

She's nothing new, i had to put up with her crap all of last year's season as well. I just asked a question, and it had been answered. but there isn't much a variety of what can be done besides the obvious so i suppose thats why we got off track. lol, we already pretty much mentioned all that can be done. thanks though. helped.

[laxbabe2121]

hahah oh that's just like my high school! except our coach was a wiener head to half the team. he had his favorites which he was still mean too. we usually run 2 miles at the end of practice, 4 laps is a mile, and then we do a mile of sprints after. well that particular day when we were in the middle of doing 2 miles, when ppl finished, he told them to keep running. i figured it was just an endurance thing and that we'd wrap it up at 3 miles tops. When players ran by them, he'd just look at them, and sometimes he'd say to a girl, you're done, you can go home now. Everytime i ran by him, i looked at him waiting for him to tell me that i could go home now. On my 22nd lap he said i could go home. When i left, it was dark, and there was still about 10 girls running. The next day none of us talked about it, because we knew who his favorites were by that pleasant little run. He was rude to girls, discouraged us from playing anyother sport than lacrosse, did whatever it took for us to win states basically. He once threw his playbook at me cuz i told him that i couldn't make a game. unfortunantly the next year, 13 girls did not come back for tryouts. I heard a few weeks ago that he finally got fired this past summer because the school finally realized the severity of the issue. We were a very good team, and to the school that ment we had a good coach, and good coaches dont get fired.

[lilaxgurl23]

Hmm, that totally sound like a coach of a guy's team my school plays during season. He basically makes it so lacrosse is your only sport and hobby. He coaches guys and his wife coaches girls, but anyway, once he had a boy who also motocrossed and the by said he would not be able to play. This coach threatened him saying that if he did not play he would make it so he would never motoXed again. They are reall mean (coaches) but the get the job done and the girls won states last year. As for this whole coaching method, I thinks its a little too intese. It's high school and players are still teenagers and have other priorities. Oh , well, he still coaches to this day.

[RYU]

As others mentioned, we're only getting your side of the story. And you know what? It doesn't matter. Garor touched upon this. Learn to deal w/ it or quit. Your situation isn't anywhere near as heavy as someone who doesn't get along w/ his boss. Lax isn't your job. If you quit playing, it won't keep you from putting food on the table until you get another job.

Your location says you live on the East Coast. Are there any club teams you can play for? If so, you are in a much better position than other girls in other parts of the country where their school team is the only option they have to play. Dislike your coach &/or team? Then quit and play club. If you aspire to play college ball, you have the added advantage that college coaches scout club teams just as much as they do varsity teams.

As Summer touched on, you will encounter situations like this many times in life. It may be w/ a coach, boss, boyfriend, husband, professor, etc. At some point, you just have recognize that the two of you don't get along. Part and go your separate ways, and quit making each others' lives miserable. It's unproductive to dwell on who did or said what... Just recognize that you're different, don't mesh, and move on.

[laxbabe42]

Okay are you not reading what i said? I'm not dwellin or sticking onto anything. I only wanted advice how how it was possible to do everything NOT to get cut because of idiotic reasons. I never said i wasn't gonna show up, i never said i didn't expect this, i never said that it ruined the entire season, nor did i say this stupid situation would prevent me from dealing with professors, husbands, bosses, etc people out in the "real world." Who said i wasn't dealing with it? If i wasn't dealing with it i would bother to ask my question on the boards.

Although, the other night we had a meeting, she held me back and threatened me telling me not to go out for the team cause she wouldnt put me on the list. Now, that's not even about me or what i didlast year, that was about things that i couldn't control and things that i DIND'T do. I intend on still going out for the team, but no matter how hard i play, it looks to be that no matter what she'll cut me because of things that i had no control over. And no, not the administration, people have already gone to them, they don't care.

And yes, RYU i'm already on a club team, or i DID play on a team but they don't play during HS season because the two schedules would clash. But that doesnt matter seeing as i'm still playing HS lax. Make her life miserable? Ha. if only i could be so cruel. i've never said one word, not one that could or would get back to her. Wish i could be meaner, just to piss her off. But seriously, i dont say anything, not anything that would get back to her. I may vent, but i vent to people who wouldn't say a word.

[TiNyLaXeR24]

That sounds rough, maybe u can get the parents of your team to speak up. Your coach obviously wont take anything from you but she has to take it from the parents. Maybe they will go to the administration to do something about it.. btw, where on the east coast are you located?? I was j/w if its a school by mine.

[laxbabe42]

I'm from Maryland. Yeah, parents are no good. The majority of the parents are the one who got the QUALITY coach fired for some stupid warm-up incident. And the parents don't know this coach yet, so they thought it was a good change for the team. lol. The few parents that DO care enough, have complained, emailed, phoned, and even went into the office personally. Doesn't work, because we have to give this a "chance". :whyme: Which, personally, we all know HOW she works/coaches seeing as most of the girls had her when they were on JV. But whatever.