View Full Version : Monty Python
liveforlax19
03-06-2005, 01:56 PM
OKAY! its quoting time...
everyone post your favorite quotes from the "Holy Grail"
havent seen the movie in a while but ill try...
"First, shall thy take out thy holy pin, then shou thou count to 3... no more, no less... 3 shall be the number thou shall count, and the number of the counting shall be 3... 4 shall thou NOT count, neither count thou 2, excepting that thou then proceed to 3. 5 is right out, once number 3, being the third number be reached, then lobust thou holy hand grenade, towards thy fo, who being not in my sight, shall snoffut... AMEN"
TRELAX1201
03-06-2005, 03:09 PM
"I'll bite your knees off"
J_Man55
03-06-2005, 03:10 PM
"You shall cut down that tree with.... a HERON!" - Knights Who Say Ni!
also I can't quote the whole thing but the conversation about the swallow and the coconut is hilarious- "It could be an African swallow!" "Oh yes, an African swallow maybe, but, not a European swallow thats my point."
HdGLaxWarrior
03-06-2005, 03:40 PM
The whole movie is hilarious.
jedimasterPIMP
03-06-2005, 04:01 PM
"She turned my into a newt! A newt? Well I got better" one of the funniest lines I have ever heard.
Lacrossejunkie
03-06-2005, 04:36 PM
The whole movie is fantastic. But one of my favorite parts is when they fight the rabbit.
"I nearly Soiled my armor I was so scared.... I've done it again!"
liveforlax19
03-06-2005, 04:46 PM
"we are no longer the knights who say NI... we are now the knights who say ikki ikki zing ba waaaaaa"
GBaschski
03-06-2005, 04:51 PM
"Listen...strange women lying in ponds, distributin' blades is no basis for a system o' government"
LongStickMid00
03-06-2005, 06:24 PM
"Coconuts? In Morfia? But this is a temperate zone!"
and
"Good idear, o' Lord"
"OF COURSE ITS A GOOD IDEA!!!"
jedimasterPIMP
03-06-2005, 06:26 PM
I can't remember any quote from it but the part of the movie where there is the man eating rabbit is great.
LongStickMid00
03-06-2005, 06:32 PM
"What's he do? Nibble your bum?" - talking about the rabbit
squire
03-06-2005, 08:24 PM
One day lad, all this will be yours!
What, the curtains?
No, not the curtains . . .
stegmakk
03-06-2005, 09:23 PM
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries"
and
"runaway...raunaway"
and
"Yes...you must give us all a good spanking...and then after thet...the oral sex"
enjoi
03-06-2005, 09:37 PM
Holy hand grenade. Enough said.
I love the chaste guy in the castle of nuns. That's pretty funny, because he's rescued from something he doesn't want to be rescued by.
Um, Enjoi, is that guy in your avatar the same guy from O Brother, Where Art Thou? Either Pete or Delmer? I've been trying to figure it out.
titanlaxman
03-07-2005, 04:19 PM
not to be too cliche but there are so many good lines. im going to watch it after practice tonight and find some really good quotes.
titanlaxman
03-07-2005, 04:21 PM
i know this is supposed to be for the Holy Grail but the "Nudge, Nudge" sketch from the TV show is absolutely hillarious.
Lacrosstitute
03-07-2005, 08:10 PM
"So why do witches burn?"
"Becuase they're....... made of wood?"
Pretty much that whole scene is sweet.
LongStickMid00
03-07-2005, 08:27 PM
I like the Sir Robin song...
"Brave brave brave brave sir Robin. He wasnt afriad to be killed in nasty ways. He wasnt afraid to have his nostrils raped, or his liver removed, or his bowels unplugged, or his..."
"THATS ENOUGH! I'm not afraid!"
bigdumplings
03-08-2005, 02:32 AM
this man has been allowed to choose the manner of his own death
Mavido
03-08-2005, 07:09 AM
"he is not to leave untill i come back"
"who him"
"ofcourse not him"
"oh ok, i thought it was a bit strange me staying here to guard him, when hes a guard himself"
bayhawkslax216
03-08-2005, 06:41 PM
"'What else floats?'... Very small rocks?"'
"I'm feelin' bettah, I want to go for a walk"
"Oh, well, an African Swallow? Yes, well, perhaps, but not a European Swallow"(or something like that)
"A mere flesh wound"
"'What is your favorite color?'... 'Grey. No, wait, Blue. Ahhhhhhhgggg!'
tigerlax32
03-08-2005, 06:47 PM
some know me as the GREATEST SORCERER IN THE WORLD, but others refer to me as tim.
faceitoff
03-08-2005, 06:54 PM
"Hmmm... very small rocks?"
"Churches! Churches!"
The best part, though, is when Sir Lancelot barges in the wedding. I laughed my *** off at the very beginning when he pops out of nowhere.
exile lacrosse
03-08-2005, 07:18 PM
I knew it-im surrounded by ********!...oops wrong movie.
hm....havnt seen it in FOREVER, but i remember the "tis only a fleshwound" scene had me cracking up for awhile.
livin4lax09
03-08-2005, 08:29 PM
"little tiny rocks!"
HdGLaxWarrior
03-08-2005, 08:35 PM
I like the part where he kills everyone in the wedding.
NY Lax 4
03-08-2005, 08:41 PM
"that rabbit is dynamite"
aussielax
03-09-2005, 05:35 AM
Has anyone here seen live at the hollywood bowl.
HRodLAX
03-09-2005, 07:08 AM
from life of brian. the centurian walks up on brian writing "Romanus eunt domus" on the wall, and has him conjubate it and write it 100 times all over the wall.
Fell out of my seat b/c i take latin and understood the whole thing.
Also from life of brian:
CENTURION:
Well, no, sir. Umm, I think it's a joke, sir,... like, uh, 'Sillius Soddus' or... 'Biggus ****us', sir.
GUARD #4:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
What's so... funny about 'Biggus ****us'?
CENTURION:
Well, it's a joke name, sir.
PILATE:
I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus ****us'.
From Holy Grail
"I spit in your general Diireecshion." Frnch men on the wall
Nj.kingston
03-09-2005, 08:42 AM
The Holy Grail is by far the best Python film. It has to many class lines to mention, Not least from the black knight sceen "What are you going to do? Bleed on me" (attack men get upset if you say this to them:bartmoon:) and "I've had worse" (attack men also get upset with this line after you get in the way of his best shot and he thinks it must have hurt you bad:bartmoon:)
dukelax20
03-09-2005, 10:51 PM
"...suddenly the illustrator had a heart attack and the monster disapeered"
QuickStick7
03-10-2005, 09:50 PM
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? Ridden on a horse?
King Arthur: Yes!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You're using coconuts!
King Arthur: What?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
King Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Where'd you get the coconuts?
King Arthur: We found them.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
King Arthur: What do you mean?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Well, this is a temperate zone
King Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
King Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
King Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
King Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
King Arthur: Please!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Am I right?
cbhslacrossemid
03-12-2005, 08:48 PM
the scene with the anachist is pretty hilarous. "We are an ontonomus commune." and when the french were asked to join the quest in finding the holy grail he replyed "We already got one!(i told them we already got one) (laughs)"
regulate34
03-13-2005, 05:02 PM
hey i got a ball pthyon and i named him monty python funny eh
ladylaxer18
03-13-2005, 06:13 PM
The best parts have to be "bring me a shrubbery" and "it is merely a flesh wound"
Tman188
06-17-2005, 05:19 PM
from life of brian-
guard:"Crusifiction?'"
man:"ope, they said I could be set free to live on a amall island"
guard:"Good for you" be on your way now"
man:"no i'm just joking crusifiction for me" :clap:
PuLsE_SpEeD
06-17-2005, 05:34 PM
Black Knight: Have at you.
King Arthur: You are indeed brave, sir knight, but the fight is mine.
Black Knight: Oh, had enough eh?
King Arthur: Look, you stupid *******. You've got no arms left.
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: Look.
Black Knight: Just a flesh wound
bomba
06-17-2005, 05:50 PM
nevermind i was gonna put one then i just saw someone had it.... :dummy:
justlaxin484
06-17-2005, 06:33 PM
dno if someone said it already as i didnt take the time to read all the post
"runaway, runaway" - it made funnier by the fact that my coach always told us to do it if we got doubled teamed and had no one to pass to
lax_crazy027
06-17-2005, 07:16 PM
mightve been quoted already. after he fights that guy in the woods in the black armor
"I invite only the finest men to camelot with me, will you join?"
"no"
"you make me sad" <- just the expression gets me
"Im not dead yet, im getting better, i think i'll go for a walk"......*guy clubs him*
fattie64
06-17-2005, 08:01 PM
"she has huge (gestures to chest) .....tracts of land" haha i love that one
"on second thought...lets not go to camelot..."
BrusMiester67
06-17-2005, 08:48 PM
:thumbsup: I just got a shirt with the black night without any ligaments and it says " tis but a flesh wound" :thumbsup:
BrusMiester67
06-17-2005, 08:50 PM
"You shall cut down that tree with.... a HERON!" - Knights Who Say Ni!
it's a herring (fish) not a heron
Pickle
06-17-2005, 09:00 PM
"Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?" The coconut scene...and the black knight
Hooligan
06-17-2005, 10:38 PM
Father: Listen, lad, I built this kingdom up from nothing. All I had when I started was swamp....other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same....just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So I built another one...that sank into the swamp. I built another one...that fell over, burned down and then sank into the swamp....So I built another...and that stayed up....And thats what you're going to get, lad. The most powerful kingdom in this island.
Prince: But I don't want any of that, I'd rather....
Father: Rather what?
Prince: I'd rather....just....sing....
Father: You're not going into song while I'm here! (music stops) Listen, lad, in twenty minutes you're going to be married to a girl, whose father owns the biggest tract of open land in Britain...
Prince: But I don't want land.
Father: Listen Alice...
Prince: Herbert.
Father: Herbert...we built this castle on a bloody swamp, we need all the land we can get.
Prince: But I don't like her.
Father: Don't like her? Whats wrong with her? She's beautiful....she's rich....she's got huge....tracts of land...
Prince: I know....but ....I want the girl that I marry to have a certain ....special....something....
Father: Cut that out! (music stops)
ekajsk8er
06-19-2005, 01:34 PM
"i feel happy, i feel happy" and when the guy says that theres a lady hitting the wall with a cat and it makes me laugh really really hard every time
mmlaxplaya17
09-09-2005, 08:26 PM
who ever dosnt love monty python is either
(A) retarted for not likeing the best movie ever made
or
(B) retarted for not likeing the best movie ever made
laxpimp
09-09-2005, 09:03 PM
From Meaning of Life:
Man: Hello?
Grim Reaper: I... am ... Death...
Man: Sorry?
Grim Reaper: I... am... DEATH!!
Woman: Who is it, dear?
Man: It's a mister Death.
Woman: Mister Death? Well, invite him in for a drink, it's cold outside.
benchwarmer
09-09-2005, 09:09 PM
from life of brian. the centurian walks up on brian writing "Romanus eunt domus" on the wall, and has him conjubate it and write it 100 times all over the wall.
Fell out of my seat b/c i take latin and understood the whole thing.
Also from life of brian:
CENTURION:
Well, no, sir. Umm, I think it's a joke, sir,... like, uh, 'Sillius Soddus' or... 'Biggus ****us', sir.
GUARD #4:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
What's so... funny about 'Biggus ****us'?
CENTURION:
Well, it's a joke name, sir.
PILATE:
I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus ****us'.
From Holy Grail
"I spit in your general Diireecshion." Frnch men on the wall
I believe the french guards says
" I fart in your general direction"
FPDefense
09-09-2005, 09:16 PM
when they're heading for camelot. and percy goes "its just a model"
mmlaxplaya17
09-09-2005, 09:21 PM
From Meaning of Life:
Man: Hello?
Grim Reaper: I... am ... Death...
Man: Sorry?
Grim Reaper: I... am... DEATH!!
Woman: Who is it, dear?
Man: It's a mister Death.
Woman: Mister Death? Well, invite him in for a drink, it's cold outside.
LOL
woman: well how did we die
Death points and says: THE TUNA
lol