View Full Version : [venting]No emotions
ColtsLax
11-02-2005, 10:09 PM
i have to get this off my chest, and you guys usually have some good advice. it took a lot to talk about it, because it seems at odds with todays culture and views, but he goes...
recently, possibly in light of the things happening in the world, i feel like have have become desensitized. I dont care when family memebers die, or close family friends. when students in my area comit suicide, my first thoughts are "what a loser, your life probally wasnt as bad as you thought it was" when my great grandma died, i carried he casket, and everyone said it was an honor, i see what the meant, but i didnt recognize it as my great grandmother, just a dead person.
when i see natural disasters in the news, like Katrina, i dont feel sorry for them, i just think they were stupid for not getting out, that it was thier own fault.
i always considered myself a religious guy, im a eucharistic minister at my church and school, i pray and go to mass, but this emotion apathy i guess you would call it, is worrying to me. i dont want to become a cynic, but it seems like im moving in that direction. Death cause no feeling, sadness or otherwise. i think i need to talk to my priest.
dpolehh21
11-02-2005, 10:11 PM
ii think i need to talk to my priest.
i agree. totally normal feeling though. guidance should always help.
Diesel4958
11-02-2005, 10:24 PM
I wouldnt worry about it, it seems like it's just your way of dealing with things. I have had that sort of "dis-attached" feeling too, where if it doesn't affect you, it doesn't matter.
enjoi
11-02-2005, 10:27 PM
I have a diitached feeling of dealing with stuff. Welcome!
I think the world is moving that way, but I think in some ways we have to. If we dwell too long on the dead, we become socially dead and we can't really do anything either. We're supposed to live our lives. I've been to two funerals and haven't really been sad at either one. It's weird. I believe in the afterlife and redemption and such, and am thoroughily religious, so that may be why. I talked to my mom about it, and she said that Mormon funerals (that's our faith) are for some reason less sad. I can't really put my finger on why, but that seemed to be the way it was for a lot of people. I do think suicide is weak, but I think as a whole soceity judges people and blames them for their situation instead of seeking to understand. I can put myself in that mindset where I feel for people, and at times I look back at a funeral and feel really sad for the family, but I don't dwell there. I'm a really happy person in life. And I think a lot of it is violence in the media and stuff. We see thousands of deaths before a year is up, and when they happen in real life, all of a sudden they don't mean as much. Don't even get me started on violent movies, like Saw and stuff. Ugh, I heard about some of the stuff in Saw and it made me want to puke. Like, why make films like that, that glorify gore and violence and murder? It frusturates the crap outta me and I want it to stop, but I can't do that. It just sucks.
SDPirate
11-03-2005, 12:27 AM
dont worry about feeling like that.
ive felt like that since about six grade. i mean maybe if you really dislike go get help, but i really dont see it as a problem.
someone dies its no big thinkg to me, natural disaster strikes, w.e, suicides, shootings, someone wants to kill.
its just no big thing.
it just has to do with how you handle things and react to situations
benchwarmer
11-03-2005, 04:19 AM
First of all, you should celebrate the life of the deceased instead of mourning their death. Second, it is your life, so follow your dreams and don't try to save the world. God has his plan. People will die, so learn as much from them as possible then let them go.
Bottom line, Death is the beginning of a new journey, a new life. Maybe you understand this and this is why you feel desensitized.
ljlax
11-03-2005, 07:52 AM
It's true that you shouldn't dwell, but he felt no emotion for his great grandmother or the Katrina victim.
Obviously you care, but you don't actually feel anythign for them.
I was like that for a while..it probably had something to do with me being depressed and hating the world(yea seriously cliche teenage girl..don't make fun)You need to be sad when your friend/relative/ etc die or when something devastating happens. I would just talk to someone. I mean it's not a horrible thing, but if you can't sympathize/empathize it's hard to care at all about other people (for good and bad)..
If you died or something bad happened, would you want your friends and family to be there to comfort you and to be sad? Hopefully, and they would want you to do the same for them..
I think?
sorry...I don't really make any sense.
ColtsLax
11-03-2005, 08:51 AM
It's true that you shouldn't dwell, but he felt no emotion for his great grandmother or the Katrina victim....I don't really make any sense.
everything you say is true. I dont like wakes, because i feel like you being sorry for yourself. the purpose of a wake is for the living to mourn together, and its kind of selfish. when she died, my first thoughts were, "well she was old, and she had some health problems, no surprise" meanwhile my mom was a mess. It may aslo be that is didnt see her that often, so i didnt have the same kind of bond with her that my mom did.
Upon seeing the damage done by the hurricane, i was mad, not upset, and mad at the people who didnt get out and were cry and begging for help. How stupid can you be, you have a class 5 heading stright towards you, you live in a giant bowl, below sea level, what are you thinking. And then when they come to rescue people, they wont leave. What a bunch of idiots. If you dont have a car, start walking.
Death, at least for Catholics, is supposed to be a joyous occasion, where the person acends into heaven to be with god in all his glory, yet we act all sad and depressed. I dont get it, and i makes me feel out of place when everyones crying and im not, im the guy in the corner
HdGLaxWarrior
11-03-2005, 09:07 AM
You seem very stoic. That is just your way of dealing with things.
Superman
11-03-2005, 11:30 AM
i have the same exact problem. and its been this way since i was really little. i just show no emotion towards anything i should. i just kinda got used to it. like my parents and friends know ill feel terrible when someone dies or somthing bad happens, its just that i dont let my emotions show. idk. it has to be some form of phycological disorder. ill ask my phyc teacher about it tomorrow.
freestylewalkin
11-03-2005, 01:55 PM
i have the same exact problem. and its been this way since i was really little. i just show no emotion towards anything i should. i just kinda got used to it. like my parents and friends know ill feel terrible when someone dies or somthing bad happens, its just that i dont let my emotions show. idk. it has to be some form of phycological disorder. ill ask my phyc teacher about it tomorrow.
same thing but now ill try to make it a little happier
when i get birthday and christmas presents i just say thankyou and a smile i always have and although sometimes for my grandparetns i give a little more but when i recieve a gift i appreciate it but mot show much emotion
LongIslandLax
11-03-2005, 02:12 PM
i think i need to talk to my priest.
I agree with dpoelhh21 you really need to talk to so one. That is so important. Talk to someone that you can connect with and let out your problems like a priest, a parent, or a loved one. You should never feel like this. If you think its really bad to talk to a psycharitrist and see if that helps.
ColtsLax
11-03-2005, 02:22 PM
the good thing is its not nlike a crazy suicidal lack of emotion,it more of a show no weakness thing. im not like one pf those people who think that their life is terrible and that the only way out of it is to kill themselves, and they seem all together on the outside, but on the inside they are a storm of emotion. I just think that people blow thing out of the water and are overly emotional in times of strife.
Like how everyone says that men dont cry, which is changing.
BTlaxripper
11-03-2005, 02:40 PM
I've been to 2 funerals in my life... my uncle who is like this buff guy and stuff was crying.... I didn't even come close to feeling sad. It was like nothing.
But maybe some males don't deal with emotions, like a primal instinct.
Im the same way with some of this. I honestly hear "30,000 people died in India" and my reaction is "blower, whats for dinner?" All this mass tragedy lately.... its just getting old. I hear a lot of numbers, $500million in aid, 500million in body bags, its all the same. Im more worried about my gpa right now.
Frndlefire
11-03-2005, 06:14 PM
Welcome to being the first generation born into a world of perpetual fear mongering.
Yep, its pretty cool. I mean people worry about the violence in movies now.... wait till we grow up! Now thats gonna be some messed up stuff.
goalieskcickay
11-03-2005, 06:33 PM
I feel almost the same way, major and tragic events barley register as "sad" moments. But on the other hand, I am one of the most emotional people I know in day to day events, i.e. I get very intense about simple games in gym, etc.
laxattack8888
11-03-2005, 06:43 PM
I agree with you. With all of the propoganda being thrown around, and all of the rash decisions and horrible things being done on a daily basis, society really overall is being turned into a de-sensitized mileu. I must say, you are a bit overboard, but overall, I agree with your theory to a point.
moondog
11-03-2005, 06:50 PM
A fine time for pragmatism--Only worry about the things YOU CAN CONTROL. Sure, it feels detatched and isolated, but that is a part of maturity and (fundamental) adulthood. Besides, the nonsense we see on the news is going to get worse and worse every day, so live life to the fullest, enjoi (pun) and appreciate every day, and be thankful for EVERYTHING we have:))
lilloaf1990
11-03-2005, 07:53 PM
This was kinda wierd for me. On Sept 11, my dad went to my school and said a horrible thing happend, the World Trade Center has fallen down and killed thousands. The first thing that came out of my mouth was, yes, now finnally the Empire state buliding is the tallest again! Once my dad talked to me, i felt like i was evil. very evil.
goalieskcickay
11-03-2005, 07:58 PM
Im the same way with some of this. I honestly hear "30,000 people died in India" and my reaction is "blower, whats for dinner?" All this mass tragedy lately.... its just getting old. I hear a lot of numbers, $500million in aid, 500million in body bags
"10 million dollars on a losing campaign
20 million starving and writhing in pain
big strong people unwilling to give
small in vision and perspective
one in five kids below the poverty line
one population runnin' out of time"- Punk Rock Song, Bad Religon
That reminded me of one of my favorite songs...
But seriously, the world has too many problems for me to cope with.
LongIslandLax
11-03-2005, 08:14 PM
This was kinda wierd for me. On Sept 11, my dad went to my school and said a horrible thing happend, the World Trade Center has fallen down and killed thousands. The first thing that came out of my mouth was, yes, now finnally the Empire state buliding is the tallest again! Once my dad talked to me, i felt like i was evil. very evil.
wow man, thats a pretty bad thing to say.
goalieskcickay
11-03-2005, 08:14 PM
Did a specific event change your view of things, LaxMiddie?
Laxplayer1080
11-03-2005, 08:17 PM
I used to be exactly like you in regaurds to the Katrina kind of thing but then i took it to another level. Now i get really, really pissed off when i hear about people stupid enough to stay in an area where a huge storm or anything bad is going to happen. Honestly if you are that stupid you deserve what you got. once you start getting angry like that it starts to get taxing but if you just don't care don't worry about it. I think that alot of people feel this way cause they are just getting overloaded with all of the stuff goin on today (ie. iraq, katrina... etc.)Once/if everything mellows out i think everyone will start to feel normal again.
laxkay841
11-03-2005, 08:20 PM
If you feel like you are not yourself with how you deal with these things, then seek guidance. If you feel this is your way of handling things naturally, then don't worry about it.
PompLax14
11-03-2005, 08:40 PM
You are the anti-christ.
moondog
11-03-2005, 08:45 PM
^^WHAT!? my parents were totally freaked about the BOMB in the 50s. This generation isw NOTHING new--maybe a different SCALE, but it is not much different than the apocalyptic paranoia my parents grew up with.
ColtsLax
11-03-2005, 09:21 PM
now 9/11 was differnet, but thats because i was there. my uncle is deputy chief of emergnecy management in monmouth county, and when he went up, he needed volunteers, i said i would help out, and me being my uncle, i went. I was already certified in CPR so there were no problems, but being there and seeing it, seeing these firemen and cops, some real tough guys just break down on the streets and cry, and looking into that hole totally blew my mind. seeing the president speak, and all that, i kinda had this big F-U in my mind for the next year when some of these countries like france said we shouldnt go to war. Looks like they are getting what they deserve with these riots