Everybody Hates T.O [Archive] - The Lacrosse Forums

fitzy_nb_11

11-09-2005, 06:25 PM

HILARIOUS!!!!!!:lol:

http://tsn.ca/columnists/james_duthie.asp
Duthie: Everybody Hates Terrell

TSN.ca Staff

11/9/2005

It’s the time of the year for mid-season replacement shows on all the networks. Coming this week to UPN, from the makers of the Chris Rock bio-hit Everybody Hates Chris, It's Everybody Hates Terrell, chronicling the early years in the life of Terrell Owens. We obtained an advance script:

Scene 1: Hospital Delivery Room:

Doctor: "I see the head! Here it comes! Mrs. Owens you have a beautiful baby boy!"

Baby Terrell: "Damn right I’m beautiful! Did you guys see that move? I juked and jived so bad, that birth canal had no chance to slow me down! Now watch me shake off this placenta!"

(Baby Terrell straight-arms the nurse, leaps to the floor, moonwalks across the room, and back flips into his mothers arms)

Nurse: "Did that…really…just…happen?"

Baby Terrell: "Damn right it happened! You can’t cover T.O lady! Nobody stops Baby T.O!"

Doctor: "But…I thought babies only talked in really bad John Travolta movies?"

Baby Terrell: "Ain’t never been a baby like Baby T.O! So who wants Baby T.O’s first autograph?"

Doctor: "Hey…where did you pull that sharpie out of…Oh Dear God!"

Scene 2: Kindergarten Playground

Teacher: "Timmy, why are you crying?

Timmy (sniffling): "We were playing Duck, Duck, Goose and Terrell told me he was going to make me his b***h!"

Teacher: "Terrell, you get over here! I’ve told you a thousand times, don’t trash-talk the other children!"

Young Terrell: "Hold on teach, it’s my turn. Watch this! Duck…Duck…Duck…Duck…Goose! Just try to catch me sucka! No one catches T.O! See! I win again!"

(Young Terrell proceeds to do his latest Duck Duck Goose victory celebration dance, pulling a pretend rifle from his back and shooting a pretend goose from the sky.)

Teacher: "That’s enough Terrell! No more recess for you this week!"

Young Terrell: "That’s it! I want out! I want to be transferred to a new school! And I want them to cover my milk money!"

Teacher: "Terrell, you are five years old! You aren’t going anywhere except the principal’s office…NOW!

Scene 3: Principal’s Office

Principal: "Umm…Terrell…Who is the kid sitting next to you?"

Young Terrell: "That’s Drew from Grade 3. He can write! He’s my new agent!"

Drew: "Mr. Principal, I have complied a list of demands including new crayons weekly, unlimited Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups at snack time, and exclusive access to the big slide in the playground at lunch and after school."

Principal: "GET OUT!

(Drew runs from the room, screaming something about filing a grievance)

Principal: "Look Terrell. You apologize right now. Or you are suspended."

Young Terrell (sighs): "All right."

(He pulls a crumpled paper from his pocket)

Young Terrell: "I guess T.O is kinda sorry for…"

Principal: "Are you…reading a prepared statement?!?"

Young Terrell: "Hey…I AM! I can read! Another score for T.O! He’s done it again!"

(Young Terrell jumps on the principal’s desk and does his new "I can read" celebration dance: he flips through the pages of an imaginary book, mouthing the words to an imaginary audience, then bows, spikes the pretend book to the floor, and flexes.)

The Principal puts his head on the desk and sobs. Credits roll.

Next week: Young Terrell hold his first news conference after dominating a game of Red Rover. He promises to recreate the scene in a Right Guard commercial some day.

Frndlefire

11-09-2005, 06:57 PM

meh...no giggles or smirks here. Yea...he sucks...we get it.

Laxer1241

11-09-2005, 07:17 PM

T.O. is really talented but needs to lay off the insults i mean did you ever see jerry rice insult his quaterback or any thing like that

HdGLaxWarrior

11-09-2005, 08:22 PM

meh...no giggles or smirks here. Yea...he sucks...we get it.

Best WR in the league cant suck.

Frndlefire

11-09-2005, 08:23 PM

Best WR in the league cant suck.
we'll one in three people suck....so the odds are pretty good he does.

marflax33

11-09-2005, 08:29 PM

Best WR in the league cant suck.
i think randy moss and marvin harrison are considerably better. and TO's used to getting what he wants. he didnt think the eagles would dare suspend him.

lilloaf1990

11-09-2005, 08:30 PM

thats was really funny. Nice find i guess.

wilsontopowell

11-09-2005, 08:36 PM

T.O is definently not the best wr, moss is plain and simple.

sweet_ceX

11-09-2005, 08:40 PM

Mrmccoolsatool

11-09-2005, 08:45 PM

I posted this in another thread but im once again posting again so everyone can read it.

TO is an amazing football player. After seeing his apology I feel bad.
THIS IS TO EVERYONE WHO HATES TO NOW:
I completley blame all of what has happened to TO on his agent, Drew Rosenhaus. Drew Rosenhaus has been known for causing contract conflicts.
Think before TO asked for more money on his contract, he was still arrogant but he wasn't like he is now. Just before TO asked for more money on his contract he dropped his former agent and signed with Drew Rosenhaus. Drew Rosenhaus is the best agent in the NFL for 1 reason, his players are payed THE MOST. Anyone remember why jerry Mcquire was a real jerk about money and everything? That was just after he had consulted Drew Rosenhaus. Drew Rosenhaus is the one that told TO to assert himself and to not stand down from what he wanted. I'M POSITIVE TO would have shut up if he had had his former agent.

Ya, the very first conflict in the beginning of the season was all his fault becasue he got no money out of T.Os contract and so he asked for a new contract making T.O. look bad jsut so he could get more money. Everyhting got messed up from there.

HOWEVER his agent had nothing to do wiht T.O publicly dissing Donovan McNabb one of the greatest Qb's in the league, that makes T.O. look like a jerk so you cant put all of this down on his agent. Becasue T.O. is the one who started the fight in the locker room not his agent. If he would shut up and play who would accomplish amazing stats.

sweet_ceX

11-09-2005, 08:49 PM

Ya, the very first conflict in the beginning of the season was all his fault becasue he got no money out of T.Os contract and so he asked for a new contract making T.O. look bad jsut so he could get more money. Everyhting got messed up from there.

HOWEVER his agent had nothing to do wiht T.O publicly dissing Donovan McNabb one of the greatest Qb's in the league, that makes T.O. look like a jerk so you cant put all of this down on his agent. Becasue T.O. is the one who started the fight in the locker room not his agent. If he would shut up and play who would accomplish amazing stats.
I forgot about that. But I'm sure that it inderectly may have had to do something with the fight with hugh douglas. I'm sure they were bustin' his chops about his contract and stuff. But on the other hand maybe not, just my thoughts.

Mrmccoolsatool

11-09-2005, 08:50 PM

I forgot about that. But I'm sure that it inderectly may have had to do something with the fight with hugh douglas. I'm sure they were bustin' his chops about his contract and stuff. But on the other hand maybe not, just my thoughts.

Ya, but its hard for everyone to know when ESPN edits it to make it all look like T.O>s fault

faceitoff

11-09-2005, 08:52 PM

I like T.O. because it's fun watching a thirty-year-old professional athlete act like my eleven-year-old cousin.

isuckatlax

11-09-2005, 09:11 PM

Ya, the very first conflict in the beginning of the season was all his fault becasue he got no money out of T.Os contract and so he asked for a new contract making T.O. look bad jsut so he could get more money. Everyhting got messed up from there.

HOWEVER his agent had nothing to do wiht T.O publicly dissing Donovan McNabb one of the greatest Qb's in the league[I][U], that makes T.O. look like a jerk so you cant put all of this down on his agent. Becasue T.O. is the one who started the fight in the locker room not his agent. If he would shut up and play who would accomplish amazing stats.
Not this year.

Mrmccoolsatool

11-09-2005, 09:16 PM

Not this year.

Just casue the Eagles aint winning doesnt mean he's any less of a good Qb. And even after T.O. publicly disses him what does he do he goes on the field and plays his game and throws the ball to T.O. he may not like him but he knows T.O.s good and he does whats best for his team, thats a good Qb.

moondog

11-10-2005, 12:23 AM

1241--The funny thing about the 49ers is that (BEHIND CLOSED DOORS) Montana, Rice, Lott, and the top 49ers used to call each other out ALL THE TIME. They were civil and professional about it, there were no cameras around, and nobody knew about it until they had all retired.

I never saw Rice go crazy after a touchdown, and he scored a few big ones...

unta8

11-10-2005, 09:34 AM

T.O is definently not the best wr, moss is plain and simple.
are you kidding me? Steve Smith is the best wr this year. Moss hasn't even put up as good of numbers as larry fitzgerald OR anquan boldin. Arizona has two better receivers that Moss.

isuckatlax

11-10-2005, 05:02 PM

Just casue the Eagles aint winning doesnt mean he's any less of a good Qb. And even after T.O. publicly disses him what does he do he goes on the field and plays his game and throws the ball to T.O. he may not like him but he knows T.O.s good and he does whats best for his team, thats a good Qb.
He is not less of a QB becuase they aint winning, they aint winning because he is less becuase of injuries, the guy cant get any protection, he got killed in Denver, and when they played washinton, but not as bad. He just isnt what he was last year.

LaXiN22

11-10-2005, 05:43 PM

are you kidding me? Steve Smith is the best wr this year. Moss hasn't even put up as good of numbers as larry fitzgerald OR anquan boldin. Arizona has two better receivers that Moss.
Agreed, Steve smith is the best reciever in the league this year BY FAR :worship:

The Chariot

11-10-2005, 05:48 PM

are you kidding me? Steve Smith is the best wr this year. Moss hasn't even put up as good of numbers as larry fitzgerald OR anquan boldin. Arizona has two better receivers that Moss.
YEAH, thats my boy! Leads in TDs, receptions and receiving yards, probably some other obscure categories. and BY FAR the best TD celebrations. He has a great, original one for every TD catch.

NY Lax 4

11-10-2005, 06:33 PM

In order of talent: Steve Smith, Randy Moss, and then Terrell Owens.

RockfordAttack9

11-10-2005, 06:41 PM

Lions, go get T.O!

montebon

11-10-2005, 06:51 PM

HILARIOUS!!!!!!:lol:]

Drew: "Mr. Principal, I have complied a list of demands including unlimited Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups at snack time..."

You mean unlimited flamin' hot cheetos. lol

Mavido

11-10-2005, 06:59 PM

YEAH, thats my boy! Leads in TDs, receptions and receiving yards, probably some other obscure categories. and BY FAR the best TD celebrations. He has a great, original one for every TD catch.
The cannoe thing he did was great! he landed on his butt and acted like he was rowing a boat... Honestly! where does he come up with that!

yea and i like TO in NFL 2k5... Other then that nah... he's kinda useless.... No need to have all that drama on the team.