When did you/When do you plan on -- Moving Out

[BTlaxripper]

So college is right around the bend for yours truly, and my parents are moving from South Florida to Iowa in the middle of the summer before my freshmen year of college. :nofear:

I have moved around alot, and initially I didn't like Florida but now I have grown to love it, and I'm pretty sure I'm the only member of my family that likes living here. So this raises the question. . .

If I get accepted to UF, Florida has this thing called "bright futures" a set of 3 scholarships that will either pay for 50, 75, or 100 percent of your college costs if you are a Florida resident. Well if my parents move to Iowa I will no longe be a Florida resident.

So I brought this plan up to my mother the other night, that if I bought an apartment in the town I live in under my dad's name, I will still be a Florida resident and can go to UF for free (I have enough for the %100 scholarship) and the price of the apartment for me to rent would still be cheaper than the next cheapest college I would go to. UF is a great school too.

I feel like I am mature enough that I can spend the majority of my life outside of college on my own, and that I no longer enjoy the transient lifestyle of having my father being the businessman that he is. My father has been living in Iowa for about 3 months now, so it is just me my mom and my younger sister. I no longer feel attatched to my family members and feel that I am ready for this step in my life.

I have made so many strong relationships in the city I live in and I feel that at my age, my parents should have very little power in me forcing to give that up. I would (If I go to UF) go as a Pre-Med major and go to Med School at UF, so basically it would be 8 years of my life going to college.

So this raises the question -- when did you move out of your parent's house? My mom did it when she was 17, and I'm 17 now and will be 18 when I go into college.

Thoughts?

[ljlax]

Well.
What about a dorm? Don't you want to live in a dorm?

But if you want to go to UF. I say go for it. My parents wouldn't let me...they are a little protective.
But you would be living on your own in a matter of months anyway (sort of...)
Would your parents continue to support you?
If it's ok with you and your parents --to buy/rent the apartment and you live on your own and UF is where you want to be, then go for it

[WHEELAX2]

well, in order to have residency, you will have to have a physical florida residence. you really couldn't consider the dorm a residency. you would probably, like you said, have to rent an apartment or something like that. I moved out when I turned 18.. a month before college started.

pretty much, once you go off to college, you are pretty much on your own.. when you visit home/spend time with the parents, you quickly realize why you like being on your own so much..

[BTlaxripper]

Well.
What about a dorm? Don't you want to live in a dorm?

But if you want to go to UF. I say go for it. My parents wouldn't let me...they are a little protective.
But you would be living on your own in a matter of months anyway (sort of...)
Would your parents continue to support you?
If it's ok with you and your parents --to buy/rent the apartment and you live on your own and UF is where you want to be, then go for it

I would live in a dorm at UF and during the summer (UF is north central Florida) come back down and work most of the time and hang out with my friends (most of my friends are going to UF or FSU).

That's the point I'm trying to make LJ, that if I'm going to college anyways, they're going to be so far away so why can't I live on my own and fly up to Iowa when I want to visit? My sister goes to college in Mobile and will be almost the same distance away.

My mom actually seemed pretty okay with the idea when I told it to her, I just have to really persuade her into getting the plans into action.

[stegmakk]

Well...if you only lived by yourself during the college months...that is fine...
If you are talking living a full 12 months on your own...it will be rough...not saying you can't do it...
I personally would have died...literally...in college i was a crazy man...you name it i probably did it...the summer breaks were a time to regroup, detox, and start getting my life together...gradually even these short vacations back into reality, helped me mature enough to be able to live on my own...I moved out about 6 months after I finished college...i have friends that stayed with their parents until 28...i thought i was young for moving out right after college...
If I were to live on my own from the start there would be no stopping the parties...
but that was me and this is you...

[WHEELAX2]

you might be ahead to take classes in the summer with a job, to keep yourself out of trouble, and sane

[BTlaxripper]

I'm not a crazy kid. I'll drink every now and then. I've never drank until I puked or passed out, and I've never smoked pot.

I'm really surprised and happy to see that some of you moved out around my age. I would live a full 12 months on my own, I would fly home every now and then, spend a week or two with my parents when I need to: christmas break, some times during the summer, etc.

[roycegracie47]

I didn't consider going to college moving out. I was still supported by the rents and was still home on breaks etc. It easn't until this past November, a little over a year after graduation that I finally found a place I could afford, splitting a townhouse with 2 other guys. I had long proven my responsability to my parents,wasn't as wild and crazy as other friends had been and still are, it was just a matter of being able to do so financially. I figure your parents would be helping you bills? A deal like you have to have at least some sort of part time job so they aren't fooing the entire thing? Either way I hope it works out for you.

[BTlaxripper]

I didn't consider going to college moving out. I was still supported by the rents and was still home on breaks etc. It easn't until this past November, a little over a year after graduation that I finally found a place I could afford, splitting a townhouse with 2 other guys. I had long proven my responsability to my parents,wasn't as wild and crazy as other friends had been and still are, it was just a matter of being able to do so financially. I figure your parents would be helping you bills? A deal like you have to have at least some sort of part time job so they aren't fooing the entire thing? Either way I hope it works out for you.

I'm sure they would pay for the apartment because having the apartment would save them $30,000 a year because I would go to college for free. I currently have a part time job, but would like to change jobs, find something not as stressful so I can work more days and earn a steady income. I'm sure my parents would help me with bills until I am older.

I already know seniors in my high school who are living on their own already.

[roycegracie47]

Seems like a good system, especially depending on apt size and location, whether or not utils are included, stuff like that. Rent could be decent, but then again I have no idea of the average rental prices in FL, but I think it's safe to assume it wouldn't be in a high end part of town/complex, but decent living conditions with a low crime rate.

[fromthesideline]

Don't mix the whites with the colors. You will end up with pink undies and socks. I moved out to Basic Training at 17 so my DI was my parent. Seriously learn how to cook and get a mentor and you will be fine. Best wishes.

[skip0l]

i've pretty much been on my own since i was 17. i mean my parents are around and i lived with them, but last year my mom got diagnosed with cancer and my dad had a heart attack at around the same time. so mom was in the hospital after her surgery for a month, while dad was in the hospital after his work. it was me working when not in school, to pay for food for me and my little brother while my parents couldnt be there. now i'm at college, where i live on-campus.

[Frndlefire]

Like Royce I don't consider college moving out. My sisters and I always came home to work, see friends, etc. during the summers untill we were about juniors (next summer for me). At that point we may come back for a visit during the summer, but are ultimatly living at school. I have really liked having the ability to come back because no matter how excited and confident I was to live away from my parents, jumping into college is such a big and sometimes emotionally draining change that it was nice to be able to come back and just be home and comfortable.

In your case I think the question might come down to whether or not you are positive you are going to get that scholarship if you stay and remain a resident. Do you have it already? Also, despite how much I loathe the dorms, I think they are an extremely important tool for making friends. Going in everyone is looking to meet people and most do it in the dorms. I personally think that anyone who isn't living in the dorms is selling themselves short and setting themselves up for a lonely and dissatisfying freshman year (college is as much about people and fun as education - particularly freshman year). Could you just get a v. cheap apartment and not live there? With the scholarship it would still save you a ton of money.

[LaxCrazy17]

i really want to live in a dorm for college, but since my parents are sooo protective, they actually want me to go to the 2 year college, 'cause they don't think that i'm ready to live on my own, which i totally disagree with. I was open to going to a 2 year school, but then I said that after I went to the 2 yr school, I could go to a 4 year college for 2 years, but my mom doesn't want me to. she doesn't understand that in order for me to get a teachers license, I need 4 years of school!!! and i don't know how to explain it to her without getting mad and upset at her.

[Frndlefire]

i really want to live in a dorm for college, but since my parents are sooo protective, they actually want me to go to the 2 year college, 'cause they don't think that i'm ready to live on my own, which i totally disagree with. I was open to going to a 2 year school, but then I said that after I went to the 2 yr school, I could go to a 4 year college for 2 years, but my mom doesn't want me to. she doesn't understand that in order for me to get a teachers license, I need 4 years of school!!! and i don't know how to explain it to her without getting mad and upset at her.
Sorry for stepping in your affairs, I don't really know your situation, but for the love of god don't let your mother potentially mar your ability to get a job when you get out of college because she doesn't think you're ready to move away from her (or should I say she isn't ready for you to move away?). If it is about money, ok, that's another issue and one you have to consider. But I've met plenty of people that probably weren't ready to move away from their parents, but guess what? They were fine. Freshman year of college is just like an overpriced daycare center...you take the classses you're told to, you live in the safety of the dorms, you have a mealplan so you won't starve. As long as you hold up your side of the bargain and go to class, yea, you'll be fine.

And don't get me wrong guys, you can make something of yourself with a 2 year degree... but like you said, you can't be a teacher with one. Don't let your mom screw that because she is afraid to let you move out.

[LaxCrazy17]

thanks! Mom knows that i want to teach, and she doesn't agree with me when i told her that I wanted to teach high school english, she said that I should do middle school, because things can happen... yea I know, but it doesn't matter, that can happen anywhere at any level of school, so yea... we haven't really gotten too deep into it, but i know that we will soon, and that's gonna be a huge thing. yea, money is part of it, but I'm getting a lot of money for school. Plus as literary genius of my school, i'm getting quite a few scholarships, for poetry and stories. I think i'm gonna be ok, but my mom begs to differ, I don't understand why she isn't very supportive of what i want to do...

[Frndlefire]

... she doesn't agree with me when i told her that I wanted to teach high school english, she said that I should do middle school, because things can happen...
I would think playing lacrosse is potentially more dangerous than teaching highschool (assuming you aren't from a poor, urban area where such things are more common)

[roycegracie47]

LaxCrazy17,
I'm in agreement with Frndlfre, but exactly what things could happen in MS that couldn't in HS? Your mom's argument is too vague to be valid. My dad has teaches MS and College (his courses are offered in the post-4:30 time slot to work around his scehduling), and also did a stint in HS, and has had more trouble from MS kids and parents than any other age level of teaching, and this is from a very affluent feeding cluster.

[spenny]

going to college can be considered moving out, i left my parents house at 16 to go to boarding school, and havent spent more than 3 weeks at a time at their house since. i was a camp counselor during the summers in HS, and spent my summers in college working in various places, NYC, New Orleans, Boston.

if you go to college, live in the dorms and spend 3 months of summer at home, on your parents dime, that's not moving out.

BT, what are the possibilites of taking summer classes? its a great opportunity to take stuff that you wouldnt ordinarily take, plus it will keep you focused. you could always get a job during the summer, too.
living alone has its up side and its down side, just like having housemates does. do you have a sense of whether you'd like living alone?

[BTlaxripper]

Well I would have the apartment year round, so if I wanted to not see my parents when I'm not in school I could just live there.

I'm not sure about taking summer classes, my mom did when she graduated and she said she was burned out.

[spenny]

Well I would have the apartment year round, so if I wanted to not see my parents when I'm not in school I could just live there.

i hadnt ever considerd that idea, but yes that's an option

I'm not sure about taking summer classes, my mom did when she graduated and she said she was burned out.

not as likely when they are fun classes taken pass/fail

[vcu_lax20]

well... if you're at university of florida in like 2 or 3 years, i'll be playing on the gators lacrosse team with you. i'll be going there in a few years to get my masters in photography.

[BTlaxripper]

i hadnt ever considerd that idea, but yes that's an option



not as likely when they are fun classes taken pass/fail

That's true Spenny, but back then my mom's high school offered an early graduation option, so she did that and then went straight into summer classes.

I just don't think I'd enjoy being in classes while my friends are on vacation and having fun.

[LaxCrazy17]

LaxCrazy17,
I'm in agreement with Frndlfre, but exactly what things could happen in MS that couldn't in HS? Your mom's argument is too vague to be valid. My dad has teaches MS and College (his courses are offered in the post-4:30 time slot to work around his scehduling), and also did a stint in HS, and has had more trouble from MS kids and parents than any other age level of teaching, and this is from a very affluent feeding cluster.

Yea, I know she used her friend as an example, and said that she hated it 'cause SHE had a bad experience... I'm not saying that Cleveland is bad, but that's where she taught, I don't think it really matters 'cause anything bad can happen at any level of school. My mom said that she doesn't want me to play lax either, even though that I told her that I'm only gonna play club in college, not put myself in the NCAA spot that I COULD very well have.But she's being very unreasonable and I'm mad at her...

[LaxCrazy17]

I would think playing lacrosse is potentially more dangerous than teaching highschool (assuming you aren't from a poor, urban area where such things are more common)


Yea I know, she's always on the verge of peeing her pants when she see's me play. She says that lax is gonna be the death of me... My dad was the one who convinced my mom that lax would be a good thing and it would be something constructive i could do... he also convinced my mom that It would be good if I joined an advanced gym class, which in the beggining she would not even let me consider, she wanted me to get it changed off my school schedule, i didn't want to. Do you think that she's afraid or something?

[Frndlefire]

Do you think that she's afraid or something?
I don't want to insult your mother man, but from what you're telling us...yes. Yes, I do and to an unreasonable, and perhaps unhealthy, level.

[LaxCrazy17]

I don't want to insult your mother man, but from what you're telling us...yes. Yes, I do and to an unreasonable, and perhaps unhealthy, level.


Sorry, I didn't clarify, I'm a girl... I agree, and I don't know how to tell her that she's being unresonable

[Frndlefire]

Sorry, I didn't clarify, I'm a girl... I agree, and I don't know how to tell her that she's being unresonable
OK, doesn't matter, my point remains.

[LaxCrazy17]

Sorry. Don't get me wrong, I totally agree with your point, I just don't know how I'm gonna talk to her without it blowing it and becoming a huge fight, that's all.

[roycegracie47]

Sorry. Don't get me wrong, I totally agree with your point, I just don't know how I'm gonna talk to her without it blowing it and becoming a huge fight, that's all.
Your Dad seems to be on your side for most of the argument, the nest is pick your words (and battles) carefully and enlist your Dad's help in talking to her, because he should be able to meet on that parental level to try and talk some sense into her.

[anjang86]

Hmmm... I'm 19-years-old, a junior in college, and I still haven't moved out yet.

I'm saving up a lot of money though... I practically had to beg my parents to let me pay one semesters worth of tuition.

[FallIntoIt]

Yeah. I wouldn't consider living in the dorm moving out.. at least, not for me, because my parents' house is only twenty minutes south of my dorm. And I do go home just about every sunday to steal the washing machine and eat their food. So. Haha.

Sorry, I can't help you in this situation. I can say, though, that once you get a taste of independence and self-sufficiency, you'll want to kill yourself if you have to ever move back in with your parents.

[LaxCrazy17]

Your Dad seems to be on your side for most of the argument, the nest is pick your words (and battles) carefully and enlist your Dad's help in talking to her, because he should be able to meet on that parental level to try and talk some sense into her.


Yea, ok. I'll see about that, and hopefully he'll help me out with that. Thanks you guys! Wish me luck!

[Levin]

man, parents trying to keep their kids at home? Mine are practically counting down the hours till i'm out... they probably have a calender all marked up and everything.