repetitive quotes from coaches?

[GeorgiaMiddie2]

ok y'all... i wanna see all the quotes that your coaches can't go a practice without saying...

here are a few of mine...

"practice like you play"
"quit grab-assing"
"poke... poke... POKE!"
"12 to 6"
"man, ball!"

[shtbrkd00]

"jesus christ you f****** meathead"

i hear that a lot

[laxbabe2121]

"NO! NO! STOP!"

[Longest]

"Are we cluster-f****** or playing defense"

Dan

[laxfreghtrain]

"your killin' me"
"last time"

i swear, today we had ten "last times" on our man-up drill.

[MrTibs]

"Line it up..." (before sprints)
"You gotta slide!"

[V-cut]

"typical westside... i ask for running and you give me this beep, you beeping beepers!"

[WestSideLa X eR]

"bring it in"

"call it out" ------> when im supposed to call out where the ball is

"alright set back up" ----> 3-2-1

[waxon]

Today my coach said to this kid "I'd rather watch girls lacrosse than watch you dodge." He also said "I'd rather watch paint dry than watch you dodge." He also says line up on the endline (running).

[attacklax]

my coach constantly yells at the newbs on our team "stop rakin the ball", newbs, always refusin to scoop through the ball. (just playin, im always glad to hav some new fellas out with us tryin to learn the game)

[spenny]

Originally posted by GeorgiaMiddie2
ok y'all... i wanna see all the quotes that your coaches can't go a practice without saying...

here are a few of mine...

"practice like you play"
"quit grab-assing"
"poke... poke... POKE!"
"12 to 6"
"man, ball!"

well if you guys would a) stop doggin' in in practice b) stop all the dicking around c) stop the crap checks d) etc. we wouldnt have to yell that stuff all teh time.

last year i did have one practice where i didnt yell any of those things.
all i said was drop (push-ups) and run (laps) there was not much lacrosse, but quite a bit of conditioning

its your choice.

your friendly neighborhood coach...
spenny

[mx255]

In order of favorite:
1. Stay on his hands and push him out
2. Move the ball one more
3. Dont crowd Space
4. Make the easy pass
5. . . .and then throw about 1000 fakes and stick it
6. Shoot for corners and get back up
7. Attack if you dont ride. . . i will find somebody that will
8. Dont feed the crease from up-top
9. Dodge off a pass

[blckout20]

1.) Stop the racial jokes
2.) Push up positions
3.) WTF r we doing??
4.) If you can't score from there get on the bench
5.) If i see you throw another ding dong, rusty gate, ice pick, or over the top, or any of that other crap your ridin the bench

[Longest]

I also used to dread "Ok, start chopping" b/c it meant up-downs.

Dan

[The Duke]

the only person that can defeat you, is you!

[TheKOB]

As a coach, some of my favorites are...

"Just give up guys, we'll never beat 'em"

"Are those my feet?"

"The only way to ever get good at the game is to eat plenty of Lucky Charms along with frequent cat naps"

"I dunno man, bowling is just so much more fun..."

"Never underestimate the value of Icy Hot on the jockstrap"

"you know, if the french had a lacrosse team, the US be in real trouble..."

"Screw this, everyone, next practice, we'll be playing lacrosse with eggs, Mighty Ducks style!"

"My favorite lacrosse stick was that one I used in gym with the plastic pocket"

"Who cares about winning or losing? We're all here for the same reasons...eye black and high socks"

"You're right, that ref did have it in for you...besides, you only lightly brushed the side of that guys helment when you were doing that all or nothing check...no laps/pushups for you...here, have a cookie"

"What do you mean 'April Fools'?"

[stegmakk]

"No No No No No"
"Don't rest on your laurels" (many varients aboutt resting on laurels)
"Did you trip over your own feet or did the gremlins grab you" (only when in good moods = rarely)

[LatinBabe]

"thats great... just great..."

"next time that D controls you, tel her to stick some in your @$$, and make sure to (pretends to spit in hand then rub @$$) b/c it will hurt. so i suggest you get your @$$ out there and keep her off you..."

"(yells to opposing coach) ill trade threee of my gals for #56!"

[Hutch]

"Use two hands" I can't believe no other coaches say this. Maybe its just me.

[laxbabe2121]

ahahha yea, my coach goes "last time" and its never the last time! and he'll be like last time, for real! and yeaaa right. my old coach used to scream "WHAT ARE YOU DOING" and blow his whistle at least 5 times to make us stop moving.

[V-cut]

"BENSON, GET YOUR ARSE* OFF MY FIELD!"
*censorship

"How many jerseys we missin?".."5? ok everyone line up at the crease"...

"if you wont poke him, then i will give you a short stick and have a go at you!"

many more to come... once i recover my lost brain cells from being pegged today!

[Jester27]

Originally posted by LatinBabe
[B"(yells to opposing coach) ill trade threee of my gals for #56!" [/B]

:clap :clap :clap :clap :clap
I'm gonna use this one.

My own, as a coach:

"don't overcommit unless he bought you dinner first"

"two hands unless you're holding his or scratching yourself"

"I'll give ya $5 for the stick if you agree to never play again."

"cradle cradle cradle, how can you forget to cradle?"

"My special olympics kids work harder and listen better."

"If you were on my team, I'd quit and play tennis."

"grab a ball"-->always means it's time to run.

[mustang_lax]

"Guys stop playing grab-*** and pay attention"
"See man, see ball, see man, see ball"
"Use two hands for christ's sake" (groundballs)
"C'mon guys I love to see corners picked"
"WHAT THE HELL YOU PASSING SIDE-ARM FOR"
"Kevin shut the hell up before i shove this stick so far up your *** that you'll be tasting graphite" (he has a harrow)

[bigOHlax]

lets see
YOU GUYS SUCK
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING
two hands on the stick
and then once in a while he will add i am going to tape your hands to your stick
also he has said this at least once a week this year
WHATS the capitol of thailand, BANGCOK
nd he procedes to hit a players in ht balls
yes it has nothing to do with lacrosse, i think he just recently heard this one and fell in love with it

[Bouncing_Soul]

"have you taken the retard test yet?"

[TRELAX]

"Four laps, get moving. You can thank Mister _____ for his language during your run." = after the f-word, 2 laps for the s-word.

"Don't be a *****, HIT HIM!" = means what it sounds like

"Stryker Time!" = conditioning, our asst. coach is named Stryker and he makes us run and do lots of exercise stuff.

[LatinBabe]

Originally posted by shtbrkd00
"jesus christ you f****** meathead"

i hear that a lot

and from a private christian school too....

[powellman21]

after someone has f***** up we get the "to the sidelines" and start sprints followed by the"we may not learn **** about lacrosse but we sure will be fast wont we ladies?" (guy team by the way)

[UCFalcons7]

haha ... these are funny...

mine are...

"take off your dress if youre going to play on the feild"

"Take those frankers and put the frankin ball in the back of the frankin net" (coach said f*** one time and got mad at himself....now he says frank.) :agree

"if that ref had one more eye he'd be a cyclops."

[shtbrkd00]

Originally posted by LatinBabe
and from a private christian school too....

yup, these coaches have nothing to do with the school :)

my basketball coach (whos also a PE instructor) would have us running lines like crazy if he heard me say anything close to that to someone

[Emidd27]

oh, you guys have me laughing off of my chair. Partly because I am a coach and I can understand why your coaches say that stuff. Secondly because I remember what my coaches used to say.

1. On the end line (this was feared by me and now used by me)
2. fake high shoot low
3. make him pay the price
4 My personal favorite. "guys, I could shove the ball up my @$$ and fart it past this goalie."

[PHSLaxDude]

"Stop playing grab butt"
"Your killin me matt ward"
"Ho dang"
"Keep two hands on your stick"
"Kidding around is a cancer"
:cussing

[Lyons Lax]

"Touch the fence" (running

[bigOHlax]

" i can piss harder then you can shoot the goddamn ball"

"NO SIDEARM"

[OCLAX14]

"Go say hi to the baseball players"(running around our schools 6 b-ball fields)
"Whose got #____"
"Get those damn hands together"
" Don't clear to the middle dammit!"

and my favorite..

" Ref what was that unsportsman like call for? he's our speaking captian!" or "how can he slash him, the stick got checked out of his hand 10 seconds ago." S**t like this happens once a week in our games. I hate the refs out here.

[LatinBabe]

just remembered the worst one of all..."oak-tree"

the tree is 300 yards away from the field, so it sucks when she calls it out.

[Jester27]

I used this one this weekend on a ref. I got a minute for it, but it was worth it.

"get the ref a girlfriend so he can stop F***ing us!!"

[bigOHlax]

haha jester that one is great
good to see coaches aren't afraid to yell at the refs

[V-cut]

we had a home game vs klein oak and the baseball team was watching it. they was making fun of #29 from klein oak and got the guy really ticked off. he started to scream at baseball players when the ball left his side of the field and the ref (who also happend to be his coach) called unsportsmanlike on him, then the kid yelled at the coach. then the assistant coach who was actually coaching the game so that the main coach could ref started yellin at the ref for taking him out for 90 secs he ejected klein oaks coach and then another one of their attackers started cursing out the ref (remember, the ref is actually their coach) and he was put in the box for 90 secs too. during the rest of the game we scored continually... and the baseball team just walkes away whistleing while our whole team is cracking up... it was a hoot.

[punkrckkd1]

ok, as a long time player now turned first year coach, i have heard just about all of these same things...some of these really cracked me up...but as a coach i understand alot more now and these are my most used sayings:

ball down, release
if i have to say shut up one more time you're all running the rest of practice
bye(as someone cusses and i make them run)
why are you late?
on the end line
my dead grandmother can shot harder than you guys(i coach jv)
TWO HANDS
what the hell were you thinking?
SLASH(during any drills in practice)
SLASH(as the ref misses a call in the game)

man i have so many more but they will come to me later

[mb5]

Some of the best coaching lines i've heard...
"Life is hard enough, but even harder when you're stupid"

"I hope you can pick up girls better than you can pick up a ground ball.... cause i think you're gay right now"

"You looka likea a ****" (say it out loud for full effect)

[DuLAX]

<b>We get:</b>
On the Hop
Get low
SAS (side arm sucks)
Suzie Losers
Suzie the shumck
Crease it
Sluff Off
Cheap
my favortie (for a defenseman on the team) :"Sluff off, what are you doing, humping the girl? Sluff off or you can come and hump the bench"
2 kegs and a bottle (run 2 perimeters and a field)
ISO ISO ISO

[ohlordy11]

"let's just have fun"

(yeah, its a lot of fun to be losing 20-4)

[CleveHeights]

is this a ground ball drill or a giant cluster-f****?
This sprint is for Shaker, Hawken, ______(insert team name)
POKE HIS BALLS OFF!
hope he was wearing a cup.
Butt END!!!

[DuLAX]

coach also says "biscuit in the basket"

[smitt5168]

Originally posted by LatinBabe
just remembered the worst one of all..."oak-tree"

the tree is 300 yards away from the field, so it sucks when she calls it out.


poor you having to run with all those pads.

[GeorgiaMiddie2]

awww... a whole 300 yards without pads... poor girl... that's like a whole 3/16 of a mile... i feel so bad for you...

[LatinBabe]

yeah... well.. she calls it everytime sum1 drops the ball... and with a bunch of begginners... it gets really annoying, really fast.

[smitt5168]

um, ya, sorry to hear that. i mean, that's almost a QUATER MILE! and, it must get so much hotter with out all those, hot smeely pads, AND a cup. with a jock strap. LatinBabe, i feel your pain.

[0000]

....you guys make it seem like pads are like the heaviest thing....running with pads is easy morons

[QueGoalie]

seriously, its not like its football

[MrTibs]

yeah, pads arent that bad, Rhinoskin are a heaven sent.

[Snuffilufigas22]

"Safari time boys" (2 mile ish run around our schools property)
"Its not that hard, are you retarded?"
"Stop slapping, start poking"
"This is a key game, we have to carry this momentum"
"Keep you head on a swivle"
"If you cant see the ball and the man, you're gonna be seeing the bench"

[Snuffilufigas22]

Also I forgot......

"On the hop"
"BALL HUNT!"
"On the endline"
"How many balls are we missing? 2? 2 Safari's, GET ON IT!"
"Im glad you can wear your socks and eye paint, cause man you guys look cool out there getting your asses kicked."