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View Full Version : Press release...MLL a Monopoly?


stegmakk
04-01-2004, 08:35 AM
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
April 1, 2004

US Department of Justice is investigating the Major Lacrosse League and its association with New Balance (previously Warrior Lacrosse) in an anti trust suit. Please see the statement from counsel for the Department of Justice.

“The U.S. government takes fair trade, and competitive business practices seriously. It does not matter how small you are, we do not only go after such corporate gorillas like Microsoft. Microsoft started small. The U.S. Department of Justice is striving forward to make a statement in the current economic crisis facing our country. We will not let small companies devour markets, and monopolize industry. This not only causes the consumers to get hurt, but also the economy as a whole. The Justice’s new action plan is to find small to medium monopolies and break them up BEFORE they become Microsoft like behemoths.

This situation in particular was pointed out after a U.S. Department of Justice intern that happens to play a sport called Lacrosse, informed us of a professional sports league that was controlled by an equipment manufacturer, and that this manufacturer will not let any players use equipment from the various other manufacturers.

The Department of Justice has contacted the league, and all respective manufacturers. We are hoping to come to an agreement without having to litigate.

From the Law Offices of:
John Dewey esq.
Ray Cheatum esq.
Kenneth Howe esq.

Longest
04-01-2004, 11:21 AM
Um, look at the law firm.
Dewey, Cheatham and Howe. For those of you who are slow....
"Do we cheat them and how?" Nice work steg :-)

Dan

kamikaze0188
04-01-2004, 11:31 AM
uhm.. i wonder if this has anything to do with april fools day..:)

stegmakk
04-01-2004, 11:44 AM
Originally posted by Longest
"Do we cheat them and how?" Nice work steg :-)

hahaha..I couldn't resist...
I couldn't believe no one posted an April fool's thread yet...so I had to...
It was a moral imperitive
Well...Happy 4/1 every one

spenny
04-01-2004, 11:46 AM
Originally posted by stegmakk

From the Law Offices of:
John Dewey esq.
Ray Cheatum esq.
Kenneth Howe esq. [/B]


mmmm car talk...

good show

jmplax31
04-01-2004, 11:53 AM
wow, that looked like such an offical press release too ;) good job stegs. Common cloo!

kamikaze0188
04-01-2004, 12:23 PM
lol @ cloo... haha jk thats pretty funny though :D

LaxGoalieLZ
04-01-2004, 04:18 PM
Longest you shouldnt have told anyone, because i guarentee that people would believe it, good job picking up on it though. It was a good one, Nice work Stegg

mx255
04-01-2004, 04:42 PM
wheter it is april fools or not, the idea that warrior products are the only things allowed in the mll is ridiculous. Each team should be able to llok for individual sponsors like the other powerful sports. The league should have no influence on the equiptment besides regulating the gear for safety and equality

Longest
04-01-2004, 05:02 PM
I think the issue of Warrior and the MLL has become our newsgroup equivalent of the Hitler argument.

Dan