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nofear45465
04-22-2006, 12:43 PM
This is sorta weird that someone actually calculated all of this out. I saw it on someones myspace and i felt like posting it cuz im bored. Hopefully theres no believers in here.

The Physics of Santa and His Reindeer

No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

There are two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't appear to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total — 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of Rudolph 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second.

This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75½ million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

If every one of the 91.8 million homes with good children were to put out a single chocolate chip cookie and an 8 ounce glass of 2% milk, the total calories (needless to say other vitamins and minerals) would be approximately 225 calories (100 for the cookie, give or take, and 125 for the milk, give or take). Multiplying the number of calories per house by the number of homes (225 x 91.8 x 1000000), we get the total number of calories Santa consumes that night, which is 20,655,000,000 calories. To break it down further, 1 pound is equal to 3500 calories. Dividing our total number of calories by the number of calories in a pound (20655000000/3500) and we get the number of pounds Santa gains, 5901428.6, which is 2950.7 tons.

The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see above) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload (not even counting the weight of the sleigh) - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.

In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

ekajsk8er
04-22-2006, 12:50 PM
So wait, he's a fake?

dtl42
04-22-2006, 12:53 PM
wow, goodbye santa, if my kids ever ask "is santa real?" then ill just hand them this

nofear45465
04-22-2006, 12:54 PM
So wait, he's a fake?

i guess thats what whoever took the time to actually calculate all that out is trying to say.

laxpro
04-22-2006, 12:57 PM
How long did that take you to figure that out?

I think you should turn that into your science or math teacher and ask for credit.

goalie1215
04-22-2006, 01:01 PM
but you forgot santa has level 60 magicul powers and can put up his barrier of christmas cheer.

besides if there is no santa who would do it? al gore?

PMRaiderLax6
04-22-2006, 01:06 PM
How long did that take you to figure that out?

I think you should turn that into your science or math teacher and ask for credit.

He didnt calculate this, someone else did.

Duh, the reason santa is able to do all of this in time and survive it, is because Santa is actually Chuck Norris in disguise. And there isn't enough Joules of energy in the UNIVERSE that could defeat Chuck Norris. He just roundhouse kicks every joule in the face and keeps on keepin' on.

AttackMan17
04-22-2006, 01:07 PM
but you forgot santa has level 60 magicul powers and can put up his barrier of christmas cheer.

besides if there is no santa who would do it? al gore?

Yes, I found that blasphamous democrat going through my fridge last christmas....the fiend...

FredtheCat
04-22-2006, 01:49 PM
My physics teacher tried to convince us that his son wrote that.

Canada_Lax
04-22-2006, 01:52 PM
wow. that guy has no life

PMRaiderLax6
04-22-2006, 02:30 PM
well ****ing chuck norris doesnt count in this situation.
But you know how much Chuck Norris loves kids! He loves kids so much, that he karate-chopped Michael Jackson's nose off after each trial! (I made that up)

dillz18
04-22-2006, 02:58 PM
So now you are saying that Santa is dead. All the childen's dreams ruined, RUINED!!!!!!!!! That guy has no friends and no life. Sant exists, exists I tell you.

livin4lax09
04-22-2006, 06:18 PM
If any kid ever asks you how Santa has lived so long, a think a good response is that he drinks blood.

atacklax
04-22-2006, 06:24 PM
This guy's gonna be getting some coal for Christmas.

Longpole5435
04-22-2006, 06:41 PM
And your point is?
We know he's not real, this isn't The Teletubbies Forums (TTF).
But man, am I bummed :concerned:

drifter8027
04-22-2006, 06:48 PM
wow your an ******* my brother gets on these forums and hes only like 7......thanks

atacklax
04-22-2006, 06:57 PM
Tell your brother the guy forgot that Santa is magic.

NuKoN
04-22-2006, 06:58 PM
wow your an ******* my brother gets on these forums and hes only like 7......thanks

I'm sure he knew your seven year old brother visits these forums, and specifically posted it to stomp out his heart.

Get real, bro..

slinkyspine
04-22-2006, 07:40 PM
wow your an ******* my brother gets on these forums and hes only like 7......thanks
Well he couldn't you need to be 13 to join.

laxgod1790
04-22-2006, 09:03 PM
That was pretty funny. Im gonna show that to my chem teacher and see if she gives me extra credit.

atacklax
04-22-2006, 09:32 PM
Well he couldn't you need to be 13 to join.
We do? Wow, and we still get the five year olds.

Talent223
04-22-2006, 09:33 PM
Apparently, there are some pretty messed up people in this world...

livin4lax09
04-22-2006, 09:43 PM
chillax people, it's just a joke. I think he knew before that santa's not real, and is just having a little fun with it. I thought it was pretty comical myself.

laxpimp
04-22-2006, 09:49 PM
Hes a heartless *******. Santa has magic people, MAGIC. He can do whatever the hell he feels like and you can't tell him other wise or else he'll curse you with his special Christmas powers. Where's your Messiah now huh?

cool beans
04-22-2006, 09:51 PM
aw man, there is not reason to live now. :) hehe

nofear45465
04-22-2006, 09:57 PM
chillax people, it's just a joke. I think he knew before that santa's not real, and is just having a little fun with it. I thought it was pretty comical myself.

at least someone of importance is on my side. haha. another reason why brent kicks ***.

BigKLaxer
04-22-2006, 10:00 PM
You've ruined Christmas, man!!! I'm going to go cry in a corner now. :bawling:
jk, It's funny cause it's true

slinkyspine
04-22-2006, 10:02 PM
at least someone of importance is on my side. haha. another reason why brent kicks ***.
Way to capitalize his name. Jeez you must really like him/ sarcasm.


Yes Brent is cool, although he spends too much on picture taking devices of the future

Levin
04-22-2006, 10:22 PM
you know what the true answer is... government conspiracy....

NC-LACROSSE
04-22-2006, 10:22 PM
you forget that if santa also were an undiscorvered unclassified organism then he might pertain to multicelled division like a starfish taht regenerates so that way 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000
santas could exist simotaniously and fly around the world on 1 reinder with 1 present each all at the same time...

ha there who kicks chuck norris now huh... huh

bogus everyone knows santa would die from eating posionous cookies, one year i made them myself and i found dead ants lying next to them in the morining...

nylax65
04-22-2006, 11:30 PM
Correction: there are over 1 million unknown species of insects alone so there are even more of other types of organisms.

livin4lax09
04-23-2006, 12:18 AM
my exact thoughts actually. But he still drinks blood. While bending space-time.

marflax33
04-23-2006, 12:27 AM
Anyone on here ever read Artemis Fowl? In there is a wonderful explanation. It appears that there are fairies living deep underground, and are able to stop time for short periods of time. So pretty much santa gets all the fairy magicians to throw a huge time stop over seperate areas and goes while they are all asleep. Elementary, really.

drifter8027
04-23-2006, 12:28 AM
guys i was just kidding i dont have a brother

nofear45465
04-23-2006, 02:14 PM
guys i was just kidding i dont have a brother

thanks for telling me after i go cut myself. haha jk.

Farny
04-23-2006, 02:46 PM
That was so interesting, that I actually read it. Congratulations.

faceitoff
04-23-2006, 05:41 PM
You're lying. Santa is real.

GrymesGoalie
04-25-2006, 10:40 PM
That sounds like something I'd do... I like figuring stuff like that out.

SwRLaX10D
04-26-2006, 07:20 AM
that thing with the 31 hours is bullcrap! Dont you know he can stop time like thaqt guy from Saved by the Bell? He just says "Woah, time out," and the world stoops spinning!

ramslac05
04-28-2006, 08:40 PM
wow whoever found that out is kinda weird but its pretty sweet imnot gona lie

Pitsy
04-29-2006, 01:08 AM
Haha yea i've seen that before! Some good stuff.....I am kinda bummed that Santa doesn't exist tho! Whos gonna give me presents when im 40??? My family??? My PARENTS!!! Even if they do it wont be what I want! Thats why i write my letter to Santa every year! Wooo go matchbox collectables!!! :chuckle: