problems with coaches?

[Pitibear]

it seems that a large number of players have been having "problems with coaches," at least lately, if this isn't a perpetual thing.

Please allow me to produce a 'mini-tutorial' on this: I am the coach. What am I looking for in a player to be on my team? lemme tell ya...

1. I want a player who may not be the best, but he works harder than anybody else.

2. I really want the most highly skilled player, who also works harder than anybody else. That kid is going to get a college scholarship.

3. If a player has a problem with me, he never says anything in practice. He quietly approaches me after practice, before practice, or during a break in practice. No shouting...just two things: (a) "Coach I've got a problem with you," and (b) "My problem is..."

4. I want a player who will do what I ask, even if he thinks I'm wrong. He can tell me I'm wrong (see #3), but he does what I want anyway..and he does it all out, not half-heartedly.

5. I want a player who is smart about the game. he has read every book in the library and on the internet he can find. I want the player who knows the difference between skills and tactics, and has learned enough about the game to know how the game works for a team on the field.

6. I want a player who listens when I am teaching something. That player treats everything that comes out of my mouth as if it were worth a million dollars, or maybe a college education...'cause in the hands of the right player, it is.

7. I want a player dedicated to the game. He can indeed do other things, play other sports, have other interests, but the game is his main interest. He works during non-season times to get better. Every new season he has remade himself into a new level of player.

8. The player who works the hardest every day is the player I want...not the player that works the hardest in try-outs. Or the hardest at the beginning of practice, or the end of practice....I wan the guy that works the hardest all the time...in fact he can (almost) be the least skilled, if he is the hardest worker..."you are what you do every day, not what you do on special occassions."

9. I want the player who has a sense of humor, but his humor doesn't overshadow everything else.

10. I want the player who respects and cares about every single person on the team. That guy will make the whole team better, not only himself.

If you want to be that player, take a pen and paper, and actually write down exactly what it is that you do to make yourself qualified in any/all of the ten categories I have listed above. Find more things you can do for each category.

If you do this, you will be a very successful player, and you will go as far as you want to, and you will never have any problem with any coach...

good luck, have fun.

...now somebody can also present a list, as a player, of what attributes you would like as a player, for a coach to have...just a suggestion.

[waynelaxgrl101]

working on the list for coaches, but i definantly am going to write this one down. excellent job on your list, it really provides a lot of insight. sounds like you are a great coach whos really in touch with their players.

[Pitibear]

Thank you for responding so kindly...however, I am looking at this and thinking to myself, "If I am the player, what does the coach give to me in return for being the kind of player he wants?"

So, here's the contract, here is my "promisory note," here is what I promise to do as your coach:

1. I promise to be able to play my best as a player myself. To be able to competently demonstrate skills. To be able to show why you do something a certain way. To correct use good players as models for 'how to do it right' when it will help the younger, less experienced players to learn.

2. I will work to make everything about my team and program the best it can be. I know that many players are initially looked at by colleges and scouts because they come from a known, quality program.

3. I will listen, really listen to any player who asks me to. If I try to get a player to think differently that he has before, I will tell him respectfully that that's what I'm doing. I will treat all players as young adults, adults, equals-to-me-in-respect.

4. I will always define "the best" as having given the supreme effort in everything, to have given all you can, regardless of the success or failure on the scoreboard, in life and the game.

5. I will continuously learn everything I can about how to coach. I will improve my coaching. I will get better.

6. I will be the first to recognize when a player's hard work has moved him up to another level of ability. I will praise him for his work...always.

7. I will teach. I will try never to preach. I will try to have information of substance to teach, something legitimate for the player to learn. I will teach the game so the player learns about himself, his teammates, me, and his life, as well as the game.

8. I will dedicate myself to our (you, the player, and myself) time together in the game. This will be my focus in our relationship in life.

9. I will work the hardest of any coach, in any sport, that you have ever come into contact with. I will also maintain a sense of balance in life and the game, and I will only tell my camel joke one time each season, and no more.

10. I consider it an honor and a privilege to be your coach.

Thank you for the opportunity.

[D Bay]

Man, please be my coach! Haha, every coaching thread I've seen from you helps me out. As far as this one, the first part shows what I hope is going through a coaches head to understand better and the second part sort of shows me what my coach probably wants to see from me

[Canadian Lax]

GREAT JOB on both lists....i think every coach should have both posted in locker rooms

[shiftylax]

it seems that a large number of players have been having "problems with coaches," at least lately, if this isn't a perpetual thing.

Please allow me to produce a 'mini-tutorial' on this: I am the coach. What am I looking for in a player to be on my team? lemme tell ya...

1. I want a player who may not be the best, but he works harder than anybody else.

2. I really want the most highly skilled player, who also works harder than anybody else. That kid is going to get a college scholarship.

3. If a player has a problem with me, he never says anything in practice. He quietly approaches me after practice, before practice, or during a break in practice. No shouting...just two things: (a) "Coach I've got a problem with you," and (b) "My problem is..."

4. I want a player who will do what I ask, even if he thinks I'm wrong. He can tell me I'm wrong (see #3), but he does what I want anyway..and he does it all out, not half-heartedly.

5. I want a player who is smart about the game. he has read every book in the library and on the internet he can find. I want the player who knows the difference between skills and tactics, and has learned enough about the game to know how the game works for a team on the field.

6. I want a player who listens when I am teaching something. That player treats everything that comes out of my mouth as if it were worth a million dollars, or maybe a college education...'cause in the hands of the right player, it is.

7. I want a player dedicated to the game. He can indeed do other things, play other sports, have other interests, but the game is his main interest. He works during non-season times to get better. Every new season he has remade himself into a new level of player.

8. The player who works the hardest every day is the player I want...not the player that works the hardest in try-outs. Or the hardest at the beginning of practice, or the end of practice....I wan the guy that works the hardest all the time...in fact he can (almost) be the least skilled, if he is the hardest worker..."you are what you do every day, not what you do on special occassions."

9. I want the player who has a sense of humor, but his humor doesn't overshadow everything else.

10. I want the player who respects and cares about every single person on the team. That guy will make the whole team better, not only himself.

If you want to be that player, take a pen and paper, and actually write down exactly what it is that you do to make yourself qualified in any/all of the ten categories I have listed above. Find more things you can do for each category.

If you do this, you will be a very successful player, and you will go as far as you want to, and you will never have any problem with any coach...

good luck, have fun.

...now somebody can also present a list, as a player, of what attributes you would like as a player, for a coach to have...just a suggestion.

I disagree with points 2 and 9.

Point 2 - A hard worker will not get a scholarship. Unless there is talent and athletic ability to back it up, he will be no better than just a hardworker. 20th men on lax rosters are hard workers and they don't get scholarships. I hate when coaches use "if you work as hard as billy you'll get a shcolarship". I saw a LOT of this when I lived in Texas and frankly it's completely false. I can't tell you how many parents came up to me to ask me if their kid could play in college only to walk away angry because I said "No - he can't catch, throw or shoot with his off hand." or "No, he's the slowest/smallest kid on the field and he never goes for groundballs, he just sits outside the arc and shoots whenever he gets the ball." Coaching with false/comparitive motivation is not what good coaches do. Good coaches tell their players what they are good at, what they need to work at, and where they will play. You owe it to your kids to be honest, even if it hurts their feelings.

Point 9 - A kid doesn't need to have a sense of humour to play for me. He doesn't even have to get my jokes or laugh once in my presence. He needs to be able to shut his mouth and play his arse off for me, not lighten up a huddle with a wet fart. I fail to see what having a sens eof humour has anything to do with being a good player.

That's just my coaching style. I don't coddle my kids and I don't beat on them either. I expect out of them what I expect out of myself - commitment, passion and hard work. But if they don't have the skills to back those qualities up, they're going to get cut. I'll play with 15 guys who love the game before I play with 30 guys who are there to wear a jacket and have their girlfriends wear their jersey at games.

[waynelaxgrl101]

^ point 2 states " a highly skilled player, who works harder than anyone else." so pitibear is saying a talented, highly skilled athlete will get the scholarship, but they will also be the one working the hardest too.

[SEMlax]

ok I have a question about point 3. When approaching my coach about most things adverse, and I(or my teammates) try to have a conversation about it, she tells us that we need to stop talking back to her even through we are not talking back and have no intention of being rude. How should we approach our coach without seeming to be confrontational?

[Pitibear]

you actually have it with what you have said...imagine that your approach to the coach is:

"Coach, i/we have a problem, and we want to approach you about it for your help. We are not being confrontational about this, we really need your help. The problem is..."

Also, you have no control over when a "bad time" is for people...When you are totally shot down, try approaching your coach with the same thing, but at a totally different time/setting...sometimes it works.

Try going by yourself, rather than the group.

I dunno how every coach's mind works, everybody's different. I want players to come to me with problems, especially when they think I'm wrong about something team or game related.

I even went to my Boss' boss the other day and said, "Hey, did I goof up on that email the other day? Was it a bad time? I really needed your help on that and you shot me down very rudely. Is there something I can do to get your help on this?"

He immediately apologized for his rudeness, said yeah, he was having a really bad day, and he recognized he was not very nice to me...he then let me talk to him, which let me provide the solution to the problem, and I looked good for coming back to him and "fixing" the problem in spite of his rudeness.

This sounds like your situation with some of these things with your coach?

Hope some of this helps. Every situation is different, nothing works perfectly all the time.

[Pitibear]

#2...you bring up a good point about honesty in evaluating a player's potential, although I am not sure where I indicated that I blow sunshine where it doesn't belong...I think you may have slightly misread my intent with #2...#2 highlights the fact that it is only the very talented player who combines the talent with hard work (not resting on his god-given gifts) who will make it to the collegiate level.

#9...it is invariably my experience for the past 35 years that a sense of humor, in all it's forms, is an indicator of intelligence, which is a god-send, if sent along with the aforementioned talent. I certainly understand a mis-directed use of that intellect in inappropriate humor, and I agree that a team doesn't need that.