Advice about difficult coach

[SEMlax]

Ok so i have a problem with my coach. and I was wondering if I'm being unreasonable or not...and if there are suggestions for helping the situation.

at the moment I have a head coach that has been my coach for two years and a new assistant coach. (by the way I am a goalie) During the half time of a somewhat close game, my assistant coach took me aside about my "anger" issues. As I had gotten off the field I had thrown my helmet on the ground(not like across the field or at anyone, just infront of me and not enough to do any damage) I was frustrated. So my coach tells me that I can't do that anymore and continues to tell me that I have to change my negative energy in to a "positive flow." As i goalie, i know that the whole game is all mental for me. I have to be able to get myself through the game mentally, so I have things that I do. For instance, my anger drives me to do better in the game: i get mad; i think about my performance; and then i got out in the second half refresed physically and mentally and do better because of the drive. MY coach took me aside in front of the whole team and gave me this talk; then i didn't have time to concentrate and get mentally set for the second half of the game because she took so long to talk to me. For the whole second half of the game i felt screwed up and in the end I felt I did worse.

Now, about two weeks later, she comes up to me before a big game and says quite rudely. "Did you know that throwing your stick in the game is a minor foul", but i haven't thrown my stick in a game and she again screwed me up.

Any comments would be appreciated.
Thanks

[Pitibear]

Pleae refer to item#5 in the below link:

http://www.lacrosseforums.com/showthread.php?postid=640848#poststop

also, reviewing the over-all advice in this thread might give you some tools to deal with coaches who give you unwanted advice:

http://www.lacrosseforums.com/showthread.php?t=43689

good luck, please remember the coach is just trying to help, even if he is doing it in a lousy way...

[WHEELAX2]

I am a firm believer that a goalie is a coach on the field; it is a very unique position that really can't be "coached" per say during the game.. it would probably be a good idea for your coach to talk to you after the game or in practices, not during a game..

an effective coach might give you a few triggers, like a few good mental thoughts about your positioning, or something to that effect..

[stegmakk]

If your defense sees you flipping out, their opinion of you as a competant keeper will plummet. There's a big difference between focus and anger. It's a fine line that keepers have to walk.
Agree...
It demoralizes the Dmen PLUS it pumps up the other team...they see they are getting under your skin and will use that to their avantage.
Take that pissed off anger and keep it internal...if that is what helps you play better...if you need to lash out when hitting the pipes to check where you are...do so with extra force if you want...

Personally I never play better when I am pissed about my play...understand you WILL get beat as a goalie...but think to yourself that you know you are good and you know you will stop them and so what they got a lucky bounce or a lucky shot off...

[Lax80]

You make some legitimate points about your own emotional makeup and what you believe works for you. Have you expressed yourself to your coach as well as you have to us on the forum?

Your coach was absolutely right in addressing you, but she may have done so ineffectively because she doesn't know what works best for you (throwing your helmet ain't it). The only incompetent responses she could have given would be to shame you or ignore you, and she did neither; she tried to turn a negative into a positive, as she was telling you to do. Help both yourselves out by talking with her, in the manner suggested by Pitibear.

Wheelax2 - as for coaching goalies in a game - of course you can, and should. My goalie and I have an in-game ritual to keep her from getting discouraged, disgusted, or losing her focus. I ask her, "What's the most important shot in lacrosse?" She yells back, "The next shot!" and she's good to go. We developed that little routine by talking in practice. She makes a ton of saves, and hasn't thrown her helmet yet.

[Lax80]

You make some legitimate points about your emotional makeup, and what you believe works best for you. Have you expressed yourself to your coach as well as you have to us on the forum?

Your coach was absolutely right in addressing you, but may have done so ineffectively because she doesn't know what works best for you (throwing your helmet ain't it). The only incompetent responses she could have given would have been to shame you or ignore you, and she did neither; she was trying to turn a negative into a positive, as she was telling you to do. Do yourselves both a favor and talk with her, in the manner suggested by Pitibear.

Wheelax2 - as for coaching a goalie during a game - of course you can, and should. My goalie and I have an in-game ritual to keep her from getting discouraged, disgusted, or losing her focus. I ask, "What's the most important shot in lacrosse?" She yells back, "The next shot!" and she's good to go. We developed that little routine by talking in practice. She makes a ton of saves, and hasn't thrown her helmet yet.

[SEMlax]

I would like to say that I don't throw my helmet on the field or any such gesture. I do it off the field. While it may be just as bad, I feel that I can contain myself.

Also, as my coach coaching during the game, I have no problem with getting advice, but what lax80 said, is nothing like anything she has ever said to me in a game. I get off the field visibly frustrated and upset, and my coach does nothing to help my game; she puts me down and treats me like I'm a child. What i needed at that moment was support and I couldn't find it in my coach or me team.

[Coach_Goldberg]

Or you can do what alot of goalies do and bang the pipes hard with your stick