Problems with players who don't get much of an opportunity to play

[Formerlaxdemon]

I know that all of us who are fortunate enough to be coaches have problems, but I got my first experience of dealing with a whiney player the other day after a game.

The boy in question is one of eight defensemen I have and while he has seen some game play this season, he did not play in a game we played Friday afternoon. He approached me after the game with a sorrowful look on his face and made inquiry as to why he didn't play. I told all of my players at the beginning of the season to never ask me two things... ever. 1) Can I go in; and 2) Why didn't I play. Those two questions are essentially deal breakers to me. Nine times out of ten, the player will not like to hear the response as to why he did not get a chance to play.

While I didn't act to abase the player, I did let him know that part of the reason he did not play was because of the attitude he had displayed in practice based upon my own observations and those of his captains (he made repeated statements putting down goalies for missing shots or even a few racial jokes. All of my goalies are Hispanic). He then proceeded to enter into a whiney tirade that the captains were all (expletive deleted) and that they picked on him. Part of me wanted to go Bobby Knight on the player for being so pathetic and not sticking up for himself. I also highly doubted his words since every other player has done nothing but praise my captains for their maturity and willingness to help others.

While we were travelling home, this players friends told me that he had confessed his anger and that he felt that the captains singled him out. I asked the friend what he thought, and he basically told me that the player in question was just trying to get sympathy and whine to get attention/play time in the process.

It just angers me though. I have other players who, although aren't the best players (yet) show up and are eager to play, offer no complaints even when they never play in games.

I was curious as to how other coaches have handled similiar situations or would handle this situation.

FYI: Our last game this season is Tuesday.

[Pitibear]

sounds like you let him down comparatively easy.

If pressed to make me tell a player he's not good enough, I might just do it...I do try to ignore any degree of whiney-but-itiss, and just address the player as though he were asking a normal question.

Here is my standard speech designed to:
(a) state factually that a player is not a major contributor to the team,
(b) state factually that this situation "neither static, nor tragic,"
(c) propose that the challenge to the player lies in what he makes of the future.

"Each player is a different part of our team. Different players play different amounts of the game based on their part on the team. It's different each game. Sometimes players don't get playing time for a game or two. Next year/season it will all be different again. It's the job of every player to work his hardest to make himself into a new part of the team during the season, between seasons, and into the next season. I look forward to what you accomplish this coming year."

If pressed, I refuse to compare any player to any other. I refuse to enter into a debate about captains, or whether I am a good coach. If the player wants my discussion, then it will be about him, and no one else.

Sounds like you have this in hand fairly well.

[CTLaxer]

I had a problem like this recently. One of my kids had a severe drop in playing time. Details of the situation are end of the season and playoffs. Player was a sophomore. Basically the situation was like this; the players playing over this one really came together and were playing extremely well as a unit. Also there was a Senior and Junior involved, so they get more time due to class (especially the senior). On top of that, the player in question had their performace go down and had been making lots of mistakes in practice and games. So, they didn't get as much time as they were before. Instead of starting they were a sub.

This player asked me and I told them straight up. Said what they need to work on and do to improve and get back to being a starter. I'm sure this player wasn't happy with the situation as a whole, but I know that they appreciated the honesty and direction on how to improve.

[KnightsLAXDad]

It sounds like you handled it OK, but you've only given a small snapshot of the whole situation. I would ask questions like:

- What's your (school's) definition of fair playing time? Equal time, effort, skill..... and was that clearly explained at the beginning of the season?

- Did you explain why he wasn't getting on the field or did you just sit him?

From the player's point of view, if it wasn't explained why and then you've created a wall by stating "Don't ask" how is he supposed to know?

[Formerlaxdemon]

It sounds like you handled it OK, but you've only given a small snapshot of the whole situation. I would ask questions like:

- What's your (school's) definition of fair playing time? Equal time, effort, skill..... and was that clearly explained at the beginning of the season?

- Did you explain why he wasn't getting on the field or did you just sit him?

From the player's point of view, if it wasn't explained why and then you've created a wall by stating "Don't ask" how is he supposed to know?

I may not have said it, but I always let a kid know first off, but if they try and debate it with me, I am not so receptive hence a wall being built, but I am always forthcoming in a diplomatic manner. My school's loose policy of fair playing time and my own expectations regarding skill, effort, and coachability were all explained to the players at the beginning of the season as well as throughout our season in order to reinforce the notion that to play you must pay (showing up for practice, giving it 100%, working together as a unit, not putting others down, supporting teammates, etc.). This boy just thought I had a personal grudge even though I explained his reasons in not playing. He is much happier today (I guess he had a good weekend), or his friend spoke with him and told him to quit whining and grow up.

[KnightsLAXDad]

Well, if it was made clear and explained to him, and he didn't take it constructively, there's not much more you can do. You always get those who overestimate their ability and contribution, and want to find blame in others for their own shortcomings. If he did finally get it, it's too bad for him that it took until the end of season.

[jimd619]

I am not completely clear on something that might have relevance. Was this player benched because of his statements or was it a lack of confidence in his ability in a relatively close game? To me the benching was entirely appropriate for his comments. The racial comments in particular risk tearing a team apart and perhaps should have been addressed at that practice. If part of the punishment was reduced playing time, I might suggest addressing in advance of the game so there would be no misconception about the cause and effect of his actions. What if he did not ask, and just assumed you along with the captains hated him? Would have achieved nothing. We did have a similar experience last year with one player. Took him aside, told him he was welcome on the team but needed to control his anger and adjust his comments about certain members of the team. Explained his playing time would be reduced until he convinced us of his new attitude. This year he came back and is a full team player. Good luck. Because if you reach him and he begins seeing himself as others see him, you will have achieved something really special in coaching.

[rjattack19]

our coach lets em play against a bad team in the begining of the game for the first 2 or 3 min. depending on how they do

[breakastick]

have the same problem accept that i try to have a good attitude in practice and work hard, do you think it is a good idea to approach my coach and say what can i do to get more game time (i started jv) all of last year and right now he has me suit all the jv and varsity games but i rarely play, and when i do i end up palying maybe 5 minutes of jv then he pulls me

[Superman]

you handled the problem fine... what our coach does is makes a depth chart every week and posts it in our locker room. and says this is why some people dont play. and you wont play until you start bumping people down. ive always felt like that was a good honest way to make people work harder and know where they stand on the team.

[CTLaxer]

have the same problem accept that i try to have a good attitude in practice and work hard, do you think it is a good idea to approach my coach and say what can i do to get more game time (i started jv) all of last year and right now he has me suit all the jv and varsity games but i rarely play, and when i do i end up palying maybe 5 minutes of jv then he pulls me

I love it when a player asks me what they can do to get more playing time or how they can improve. It shows they're willing to atleast learn more about the game and get better as a player. As long as you do it properly, such as before or after practice, you can't go wrong asking your coach how you can increase your playing time or get better as a player to contribute more to the team.

[BuckWyld]

Not getting playing time is a tough position to be in. I was promoted from JV to Varsity during the season my sophmore season in high school. Over night I went from playing 95% of the time to 0 PT, it sucked. Alot of times players low on the depth chart even get screwed during practice because they won't be on man up or man down, the will be sitting while the team runs through new plays etc. Now the kid in the original post sounds like he may just be a prick, but I think as a coach you need to be sympathetic and patient with kids who do not get on the field very much, because it is not a fun position to be in. They are going to be the ones who are playing most of the time a year or two down the line and I think telling them that (if it is true) is important and explain that if they get frustrated and/or quit then it hurts the team in the future.

[Pitibear]

...kids who do not get on the field very much... are going to be the ones who are playing most of the time a year or two down the line...

very good point...

as well:
How many times have we seen the kid who does work hard, comes back the next season, and it's, "holy cow, is that the same kid?" If you do give legitimate hope and expectation to a player, many times they can surprise you...

[Woodenstick]

At the JV and lower levels, I think we should try to get all of the players some playing time unless they are posing problems. NOT equal time, but some time. Varsity is more for keeps, but guys on varsity with no time can be shunted down to JV for a few games to get some playing time. Burying a young player on varsity like Buckwyld makes no sense, they get discouraged and don't improve without game experience.

[3rdPersonPlural]

Isn't JV the forum for developing players who wouldn't get Varsity playing time? The better teams around here field a JV team comprised of the bottom of the Varsity depth chart and the other kids who want to play and everybody gets playing time. There's a horn at every opportunity and wholesale substitutions.

[HRodLAX]

I have a question about this. I feel that my coach on the whole handles the subing completely wrong, however, he is the coach, but b/c of the times in between line changes, in general you treat every second on the field as precious (which is good) but you try to stay on as long as possible (even if you do get winded or get a bad check) b/c you don't know if you'll be back in in 3 min or 15min, and we only have 3 midi lines. Today was the worst b/c we had a guy who took a check to the leg but said he was fine (though visibly limping, working it off, but lathargic) just so he could stay on b/c he knew he wasn't gonna get back on in a while.

Now i don't know exactly how coaches deal with getting ppl on the field but i also feel that any line will be in and finally start gaining some momentum and stuff is working and he pulls the mids and puts in another line and we lose it. Then when we get a penalty, and the man down unit has been in a couple min, he will leave the man down in, but if the man up has been in a couple min. he will pull them an put in the man down even though the man up was in and had momentum etc.

I just feel the whole situation kills our team, but any time i try to question something i get "I've been doing this 35 years and when you have 10 more years under your belt you can coach also." I'd like to also say that i am one of the captains and i am always the first to as what can i do better, stay and work on f/o, shooting etc. after practice, but i just wonder what some of the coaches think about this and if i am just whining. I don't mean to come across that way but we are a sub .500 team and i feel this may have something to do with it. Sorry for the long winded explanation.

[jimd619]

HRodLAX, you ask a good question. Something I know I wrestle. Do you lose momentum, or save energy?

The complication is that you cannot take weary players off the field any time you want. You need a goal, you leave your guys in a little longer than normal when they lose control of the ball. Now they are playing defense against fresher opponents who score. Now you are down 2 goals and gotta get your guys off. That is what you balance.

On the other hand you have this story. We were playing a major rival, behind 4 goals. We got one back. My son (face-off) had been out there. Now he and his winger decided they could win the ensuing face. And they did, came down and scored on a break. Faced off again, and scored again. there was 4 minutes left in the game. I decided to pull them off, intending to give them 2 minutes rest and two minutes back at the end of the game. We never saw the ball again.

In other words there is no formula. You play by gut instinct. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.