should i take a brand new car?

[st.joslax10]

my moms new boyfriend gave me a new car since ill get my license in july. I really havnt got over the fact that my parents just got divorced and Im not sure out of personal morales if I shoul take it. My real dad is saving up for me for a used car but the new one is a suped up truck, all the bells and whistles a kid could want. Should I take it or say no?

[AttackMan17]

my moms new boyfriend gave me a new car since ill get my license in july. I really havnt got over the fact that my parents just got divorced and Im not sure out of personal morales if I shoul take it. My real dad is saving up for me for a used car but the new one is a suped up truck, all the bells and whistles a kid could want. Should I take it or say no?

Thats tough. You could (Just be honest with him) tell your real dad that the other guy got you a real nice car, and that He (real dad) could get you something else, or save the money up.

[st.joslax10]

i know i goofed up. i dont want to hear about the wrong forum. i saw general and i just put it there.

[st.joslax10]

like a month ago.

[jjxcorex]

Exactly what Arte said, but i think if you talk to your dad and reassure him that it won't change your feelings towards him or the boyfriend and that he's ok with it, i'd jump on a brand new car.

[Falconsmikevick]

That's a real awkward situation. I'm not sure, i'd really want the new car, but that'd be tough to take that if your dad's been saving. I would feel way too bad toward's my dad if i took the new car.

[fenwicklax89]

sounds kinda like your stepdad is trying to gain your trust and acceptance in giving you a car. i guess you could take th car, and tell your real dad to save the money for the two of you to to go on vacation together or buy somethin that the two of you can enjoy together. im sure hed be happy with that

[chucktownattack]

sounds kinda like your stepdad is trying to gain your trust and acceptance in giving you a car. i guess you could take th car, and tell your real dad to save the money for the two of you to to go on vacation together or buy somethin that the two of you can enjoy together. im sure hed be happy with that

That sounds perfect. Just make sure you don't let your stepdad buy his way into your heart, try and accept him knowing that it's what your mom wants.

[JazzyJake]

here's what i'd do
take the new truck, with your dad's approval, and then use it to learn more about cars, and spend time, and the money your dad had been saving up to build a car with him.
if you have the know-how
if not
see what your dad says

[sta lacrosse]

Hey your dads family just tell him your situation. Your his son and he wants the best for u. Im sure if he was in ur situation when he was ur age hed take the new one or atleast thats what he would want. and if he feels like taking the brand new car is right tell him that u guys could use the money for a trip or something. something that youd both enjoy.

[the next 'one']

here's what i'd do
take the new truck, with your dad's approval, and then use it to learn more about cars, and spend time, and the money your dad had been saving up to build a car with him.
if you have the know-how
if not
see what your dad says

that's the best idea. if i was in this same situation i would probably take the truck (after talking to my dad about it) and tell him that i will also help to save up and we could combine for some long-term activity together, such as building a car together.

[chsattack22]

honestly take both, send one of them to me. im a senior in hs with no money and no car...well after this happened. http://lacrosseforums.com/showthread.php?t=83730 but seriously take both and give one to me.

[Eclipse]

I would consult with your dad. I mean let your Dad know that you are way more important to him then some truck, and you only want it if the two of you can come up with a way better way to spend the money he has been saving up. I know someone suggested a Vacation, just the two of you, thats a great idea. You could also use the money towards gas, insurance, or even college.

Either way sit down with your dad, and see what he thinks. If he seems upset, walk away and dont take the truck.

[RgLax]

take the truck and then sell it and get your dads car

[dtl42]

I second Rglax's suggestion, sell the new truck, give the money to your father. Then say it got stolen and file a police report, but be very vague

[the wister]

I can see this as one of two things:
If your parents seperated on bad terms, your mom's boyfriend may be trying to buy you out to win you over and insult your dad. In that case it's obvious what your choice should be, unless you hate your dad, and I assume you don't.

The more likely scenario is that he knows you need a car and it's not a big deal, financially, for him to get you one, so he wants to help out and take the opportunity to show that he cares. In which case you should tell him (as long as you get along with him and don't want to cause drama) that you appreciate the gesture and think it is really kind, but that you know your dad is saving up for a car for you and you'd feel much better accepting that kind of gift from a man you've known your entire life. That and you know it'd crush your dad's ego if you took the brand new car.

Assuming he's an upstanding man and good father, whatever you say to your dad, he will feel the same if you take the new car: like a failure. He sees it as his job to provide for you. If you tell him that you'd rather have his ex wife's new rich boyfriend buy you a car, he will feel like he cannot provide for you anymore and may even feel like he's being replaced. That's something he doesn't need after having just finalized a divorce. You should let your dad buy you a car instead.

Of course, the best thing you could do (for him, not yourself) is to tell him you don't want a new car, but also that you don't want him to buy it for you (if he has financial troubles) and that you want to save up for your own.

I've never paid for a car, never paid insurance, or for parking passes, ever, and I don't complain, but I know there are people who drive cars ten years old and look at me and think I'm spoiled. I envy them because they had to earn what they have and they have a sense of humility that I will never have. I don't know if I'd change things, but I do know I'd be a much better person if I was forced to work for my own car.

[tomtom]

I wouldnt take it. Taking a brand new car, especially when your dad is saving to buy a used one, would be an insult to him. And they divorced a month ago? Cmon, I know that you must want to take it, and so would I, but honestly, whats more important, the car or your dad?

And dont take it and sell it either. Then that insults both your dad(for accepting such a large gift so readily), your mom's bf(for not keeping the gift offered), and overall makes you look, well, greedy.

[goalie33fan]

Don't take for all of the reasons stated above and sinse your not 18, the car won't be in your name. It will probably be in his. If they split up, you can say bye bye to that truck.

[Fox 21 Alpha]

Yeah definetly sit down and talk it over with your dad is the best way man. Just see how he feels and stuff, like people said maybe you can use the money for something else, or something greater, or maybe it'd make him feel like crap. I kinda like used cars cause its fun just to mess with and put your own time and work into them, yet a nice car is a nice car. So just talk to your dad, maybe he was saving up cause he thought he needed too, now he doesn't need to so its a good day for the both of you. Or maybe like someone he said it would make him feel like crap. So who knows, just talk it over. You guys will figure out something.

[Dan]

I know I wouldn't take it. It'd crush my dad. I mean, my parents have been together for 25 years and I can't imagine life with them separated, so I know this has to be weird and confusing for you. Like, I'm used to that cushion of stability, even though I've finished my freshman year of college and don't have a car, so it's very different. I'm currently searching with a $500 car with my parents, like an old Toyota or Honda (1988-1993; 10 years old is too new) that me and my sister can share for the next three months before I leave on my mission. So it's a very opposite situation for you than for me, but I absolutely love my dad and respect his dignity, and wouldn't want to crush it to gain advantage.

Do the honorable thing. 10 years down the road, that truck will be worth a few thousand dollars, and you won't be thinking about how great your truck was; you'll be thinking about how you wished you'd taken the car your dad got you and built that relationship with him, instead of taking a car from a guy that may not be around very long.

This all assumes that you have at least a decent relationship with your dad. I mean, I know things ebb and flow in every relationship, so don't base it on revenge if you and your dad just had a disagreement, because you can share something like a car for a long time. One of my friends only has his dad, and they got an old (1989) car and rebuilt the engine and fixed everything over 3 years. They had a lot of fights over the car, but overall their relationship is stronger for it. When you're fifty and look back even farther, you'll be glad you have a strong relationship with your father as he ages, because it's things like this that can really strengthen the relationship. And if your mom's boyfriend is a reasonable guy, he'll totally understand. He's just doing a nice thing, I hope. I mean, I'll give the benefit of the doubt to anyone I haven't met. This is advice from someone 3 years older, and while 18 isn't very old, I know I've aged a lot since I was near 16. More than just physical growth, you know?

Remember to value a relationship over material things. Always.

[Laxer1241]

uhm use the truck until your dad is ready to get you a car then no one feels hurt?

[emersonlax]

give your dad the car and let him buy you the used one. no ones hurt.

[Brandon303]

give your dad the car and let him buy you the used one. no ones hurt.
That's actually a really cool idea. But, remember the boyfriend. He probably wouldn't be too happy.

[chsattack22]

dont accept it by all means. no matter what your dad says he will be heartbroken and feel like he can provide for you and is being replaced. your dad will tell you to take the car from your moms bf no matter how he really feels, you will also feel really guilty if you accept the brand new car.

[chsattack22]

That's actually a really cool idea. But, remember the boyfriend. He probably wouldn't be too happy.
true but his dad is more important than his moms bf. his dad has raised him all his life, for this new guy to come in his dad would feel horrible.

[sweet_ceX]

Never forget that your father, is your father.

Which car is of more value?
As much as I hate when people quote the Bible, this reminds me of one of the most important parables i have been told.

I forget most of it, but remember the important parts.
It has something to do with some charity or something, like people donating to something or someone. But the important part is that 2 lady's donate, 1 very rich and 1 very poor. The rich lady gives a lot of money, but the poor lady can only give a few coins. Which is more valuable?

The few coins are. Although the rich lady gave more money, the poor lady gave all she had, all of her money. The rich lady didn't.

So again, which car is more valuable? your mom's new boyfriend's shiny new car? or the used one your father has been working so hard to get you.
You make the decision, but if i were you, i would choose your fathers offer soley out of respect and gratitude for him.

[iplaylax22]

Never forget that your father, is your father.

Which car is of more value?
As much as I hate when people quote the Bible, this reminds me of one of the most important parables i have been told.

I forget most of it, but remember the important parts.
It has something to do with some charity or something, like people donating to something or someone. But the important part is that 2 lady's donate, 1 very rich and 1 very poor. The rich lady gives a lot of money, but the poor lady can only give a few coins. Which is more valuable?

The few coins are. Although the rich lady gave more money, the poor lady gave all she had, all of her money. The rich lady didn't.

So again, which car is more valuable? your mom's new boyfriend's shiny new car? or the used one your father has been working so hard to get you.
You make the decision, but if i were you, i would choose your fathers offer soley out of respect and gratitude for him.

i couldnt agree more i ould definitley take your real dads car that one means more to you plus money cant by happiness you might like the nice truck at the beginning but you'l;l like the other one later

[MiddieMan05]

I think you should politely explain to your mom's boyfriend about how your Dad has been saving up money to get you a new car. Although an all new truck seems really enticing, the fact that your father has been working for some time to save enough money to buy you a care should mean a lot to you. For all those that think you should do something else with your Dad, I don't believe that would be a good idea. In my opinion, telling your Dad that you want to allocate his saved up money elsewhere because you are already getting a new car seems like you're just pushing him aside for something better. Once again, I say, you say, thanks, but no thanks. But don't just tell you stepdad, "no I don't want it". Maybe sit him down and explain your situation about your Dad saving up to buy you a car. If your mom's boyfriend is a good guy, he'll understand.
But after all I've said, don't do something because a bunch of people on the internet say so, do what you think is right.

[lsm8fogo]

I second Rglax's suggestion, sell the new truck, give the money to your father. Then say it got stolen and file a police report, but be very vague

That's extremely good advice, if you're trying to land him in jail. Filing a false police report is a serious crime. Plus, in case you forgot, the car has to be registered shorty after it has been purchased, that and the title has to be cross signed to the new owner by the original owner. It would be on record that the car was legally sold to the other person, and you land in trouble with the law. Excellent plan.

[RgLax]

dude hes joking do you really think hes advising someone to pretend their car has been stolen?

[flyersrule9733]

I would suggest just to go to your dad and tell him that your stepdad (or w/e you call him) offered you are car and you are not sure what to do. I'm sure he will help you out