Public to Catholic

[Expresslax20]

How would you respond and act to a kid that started off in public school and is now going to a catholic school......my coach is pissed off and doesnt even talk to me......what would you do to a kid leaving your school with a lot of potential?

[CTwiltongoalie1]

As a fellow player, here's some advice. Every other year or so, kids leave my public high school to go to boarding school or prep school. I've seen many star varsity/jv kids get benched because they bragged about their commitment to going to Deerfield or Loomis the next year. The best thing is to just not tell the coach until after the season's over, or not until you have to. The coach has a right to be mad; you're leaving your own school and team to go pursue your own interests. That's just his opinion. Even though St. Anthony's may have been the right decision for you, your coach is losing a potential playmaker. And even if the public school coach is mad, it doesn't matter, you're never going to be playing under him again. So I advise maybe shooting him an e-mail or phone call explaining your decision to go to SA, and maybe try to make him understand. Be careful with what you say. Good luck!

[bethsc]

As a fellow player, here's some advice. Every other year or so, kids leave my public high school to go to boarding school or prep school. I've seen many star varsity/jv kids get benched because they bragged about their commitment to going to Deerfield or Loomis the next year. The best thing is to just not tell the coach until after the season's over, or not until you have to. The coach has a right to be mad; you're leaving your own school and team to go pursue your own interests. That's just his opinion. Even though St. Anthony's may have been the right decision for you, your coach is losing a potential playmaker. And even if the public school coach is mad, it doesn't matter, you're never going to be playing under him again. So I advise maybe shooting him an e-mail or phone call explaining your decision to go to SA, and maybe try to make him understand. Be careful with what you say. Good luck!

Just to add my 2 cents with your post. I was talking to some 8th graders in my school last yr, who in Jan. 07' got word of their acceptance to Chaninade, St. Ant's, etc, etc, they either told the Lax coach or the Lax coach found out when transcripts were requested, anyway about 5 or 6 of these guys were given none or limited play on the Lax field last year. The coach's reply was "Who cares, you're going private?" The parents of these kids told my parents on the sidelines to not to say anything to the coach's about it, when this yr. rolls around. Likewise at a Lax clinic at the public HS in my town, it was the 1st question the varsity and jv coach asked! Where you going?

[CTwiltongoalie1]

He's going to St. Anthony's, I'm not going anywhere.

[Expresslax20]

im going to st anthonys.....ctwilitongoalie....my coach doesnt even want an email he doesnt even care about me.....the day he found out i was thinking about st anthonys he brought up 3 kids up to varsity....including one as being his son who isnt that great.....but i my dad has a friend that coaches a high school team and when he finds out some kids will be going to catholic school he approaches them and tells them good luck and the you are always welcome to come back if you need to.....thats how i think coaches should treat the problem because no ones knows if i will be coming back next year...but there is a reason to be mad but he just doesnt say hello or even talk to me at all

[The Doors]

coaches first priorities should be that the players on your team are becoming better individuals rather than lax players. There is more to life than lax, some may disagree.

However, another important duty of a coach is to win games. If he knows that a player will not be back the following season, or maybe even going to a rival school, then why play him? Unless it is guaranteed that he can help you win now, I would give a player less PT if i knew he would be gone after the year to help develop the other players on my squad

[Gorillalax7]

As a coach, my first job is to make the player a better human being. As I can understand not being happy about losing a potential good athlete, it is more important to be a better mentor. I hope you do go to St. Anthony's, they have a great reputation and you will learn what lacrosse (and school) is about. Ride out your last year the best you can. Play with the Express as much as you can to keep your skills sharp. Don't get yourself down and don’t stoop to the coach’s lower level. Be a man and play every practice hard, work on getting better. Think of this as a game situation; don’t let the other player (or in this case your coach) get into your head.

Make a decision that is best for you and your family.
:guns:

[bethsc]

im going to st anthonys.....ctwilitongoalie....my coach doesnt even want an email he doesnt even care about me.....the day he found out i was thinking about st anthonys he brought up 3 kids up to varsity....including one as being his son who isnt that great.....but i my dad has a friend that coaches a high school team and when he finds out some kids will be going to catholic school he approaches them and tells them good luck and the you are always welcome to come back if you need to.....thats how i think coaches should treat the problem because no ones knows if i will be coming back next year...but there is a reason to be mad but he just doesnt say hello or even talk to me at all

ExpressLax, what grade are you going into in Sept? When you mentioned 3 kids being brought up to Varsity in your public, I was wondering if you are a soph in HS already? Good Luck in St. Ant's! I may or not be on your team depending on where I end up?

[bethsc]

As a coach, my first job is to make the player a better human being. As I can understand not being happy about losing a potential good athlete, it is more important to be a better mentor. I hope you do go to St. Anthony's, they have a great reputation and you will learn what lacrosse (and school) is about. Ride out your last year the best you can. Play with the Express as much as you can to keep your skills sharp. Don't get yourself down and don’t stoop to the coach’s lower level. Be a man and play every practice hard, work on getting better. Think of this as a game situation; don’t let the other player (or in this case your coach) get into your head.

Make a decision that is best for you and your family.
:guns:

I read the posts daily because I love Lax, and from time time to time, I read just everday posts, some like mine (boring, haha) or others real interesting. Others truly stand out as Excellent advice! You sound like a coach, I would give my all on the field for 24/7! I just wanted to give you a shout out as one of those posts! It will help me with my own decision on Oct.28th 07' (Co-Op exam)

[Expresslax20]

bethsc...im only going to be a freshman next year.... but since we didnt have a budget we only had varsity teams so he mad basically a Varsity and then a varsity B which was a jv and we played pick up games...and thats the team i was on until 3 days into the season when he brought up the 3 other kids...but thanks for the luck...hopefully ill see you there!

[CTLaxer]

As a coach I'd be a little upset if a player was leaving me. It's happened before though so it's not that big of a deal. As a player, I suggest you just be honest with your coach. I know that I personally prefer a player to keep playing and progress as a lacrosse player rather than have them suffer and no grow as a player and a person.

Personally, I would not punish any player in this situation. I would hope to prepare them for the next level and get them ready for whatever their future holds whether it's with me and my team or with another coach. It's a bit of an ego boost for a coach if you can have a player go on to the next level or switch teams and succeed. It helps affirm what the coach is doing and makes them feel good.

Any self respecting coach won't have an issue with the situation, though if you're staying within the league and you give up secrets of a certain coach such as plays or something, that might not go over well. As a player, I'd suggest not taking any secrets with you and just start fresh with a new team and a new coach. Aside from that, all's fair in love and war (lacrosse).

Good luck with your new team!

[bethsc]

im going to st anthonys.....ctwilitongoalie....my coach doesnt even want an email he doesnt even care about me.....the day he found out i was thinking about st anthonys he brought up 3 kids up to varsity....including one as being his son who isnt that great.....but i my dad has a friend that coaches a high school team and when he finds out some kids will be going to catholic school he approaches them and tells them good luck and the you are always welcome to come back if you need to.....thats how i think coaches should treat the problem because no ones knows if i will be coming back next year...but there is a reason to be mad but he just doesnt say hello or even talk to me at all

If you don't mind my asking, how were your grades this past year in 8th grade and how did you do on the entrance exam? Thx!

[Expresslax20]

If you don't mind my asking, how were your grades this past year in 8th grade and how did you do on the entrance exam? Thx!



my grades were good....my overall gpa for the year was 4.13 and i never really got my grade to the entrance exam.....but i got into saint johns and saint anthonys but i didnt get into chaminade

[missouri lax]

I didn't start playing lacrosse till I started going to the college prep school I go to now, so I have never had this problem.

[CoachK]

My sophomore year I took a free trip to Mexico toward the end of the season. It was for 3 weeks, time of my life. I told my coach at the start of the season (2 games in when I found out), I was benched... We missed the playoffs & lost several games by a goal. I was a starter & I hated him for it. He tried to run me off the team, not give me my letter etc. Life goes on.

Now as a coach, I see his point, but I don't treat players like that & your coach shouldn't. We all make mistakes, coaches too. Realistically, he should slow down your amount of play. He's got to get others ready to replace you, but he has to win games too. There has to be a balance. Good Luck at your new school.

[thepalehorse]

How would you respond and act to a kid that started off in public school and is now going to a catholic school......my coach is pissed off and doesnt even talk to me......what would you do to a kid leaving your school with a lot of potential?

my highschool career sumed up in that exactly. thank you!

[CelticLaxer]

I find this incredible. Here in SW Ohio, we have a long, strong Catholic school tradition. The normal assumption is that kids/families will choose their high school, not automatically default to the public school. I don't know how to transfer such a mindset, which prevents such terrible treatment, to other areas, but it can be good to know that there are other ways to look at the situation.

[thefeeder]

In my area there is a similar situation. I'm in the NJ area and play for a team that is consistently good... but not Delbarton good. Unfortunately a lot of fantastic athletes from my town go to Delbarton. This has caused some tension between coaches and players but in the end there is more to life than lacrosse and some kids need the smaller class sizes, and individual attention that a school like delbarton offers to excel.

[cnylax]

Make sure you check things out first in my area if you go public to private you have to sit season. The public schools way of keeping you from going private

[Lax bus driver]

I have a familiy member that was in the same situation. Took the catholics just to keep our options open. Fully intended on continuing in the public schools but b/c of the town coaches treatment basically blackballing the kid we decided to take a serious look at the Catholic schools.

Coaches need to listen to this Seriously. Many of you with good intentions on building your town program as a feeder system for your high schools should consider being more receptive to kids that decide to try out other programs Express, Jr. Lizards, Tri Village, etc or look into other options Catholic school. No one needs the same coach for 6 years. All good pros in any sport have several coaches or mentors.

If you don't want a player to leave your program for another school you need to treat them like everyone else and let them bond with your team. Regardless of where you think they are going to go or rumors that are spreading. Kids want to be with their friends and if they are a good student the parents will let them make the choice and continue in the public schools.

But they certainly won't do that if you turn the team against the player and spread rumors. I am amazed at how many coaches assume where a player is going to school because the older brother or sister went to Catholic school. You don't know the family's circumstances.

If you continue to treat the player as a member of your team you have a far better chance of keeping them in your public school system than if you make the kid an outcast. Do coaches really not get this? More shocking is the fact that many times the coaches never asked the kids parents where they were planning on going. Often times the team mates are OK with a players decision to try other programs (yes dissapointed) but they get over it. The coaches are the ones with the Ax to grind and they spread the bad vibe.

Hey Coaches if you treat the kid with respect and as a member of your team you certainly have a better chance of keeping them in your program when they need to ultimately make the decision on which school to attend. Coaches who turn against the kids only hurt their chances of keeping better players in the system.

[bethsc]

when last lax season was over, both me and my father were approached by the varsity and jv coach at where I was going to HS? Anyway, at this point, we were undecided? Both coach's who did not know my father and had never met him before, asked him "where is your son going to play" Before he could say anything, both coach's went on for 15 min. about how anybody who go 's to Catholic is wasting their time and money! Not only that, when the HS public
varsity coach found out I was headed to catholic HS instead, he then called up my Catholic hs coach to complain, that he was stealing his players!! I really believe if the public school coach hadn't come off so stupid in his remarks, I might have just went to his school, but at that point, my father said the guy was a jerk and that was the beginning and end of any thought for my local HS. Sorry coach, this was your fault, not mine!

[sta lacrosse]

I love this about kansas. No one cares. i go to catholic school but went to public last year. its not like i was recruited or anything, i just went. it helps that lax isnt a huge sport in KS even tho i wish it was.

[Sack Attack]

Coaches need to understand that some people also do this for what the school was intended for: religious purposes.